While I'm Away....

....I thought I'd give you something to read in my absence.

A blog that makes me laugh: You Are Not a Photographer

A blog that makes me cry: Cora's Story

A blog that makes me think: Corbyn Hightower

A blog that makes me drool hungry: Home Cooking With Sonya

A blog that makes me wish she was my neighbor: Not a Perfect Mom's Blog

"No worries....I'll be back soon!"

Sorta Southern Single DysFUNctional Mom??

No, my friends, I have not become suddenly Single, nor have I become "sorta" Southern; I am Southern alllll the way. Southern as sweet tea. Southern as grits.

But when I asked for guest posters and my friend, Sorta Southern Single Mom, offered to help out, I was SO excited! Because I heart her. And she rocks. And you know what else she does?
She.puts.the.fun.in.DysFUNctional.TOO!!!

So check out her post, and then go check out her blog, because she is all kinds of awesome!



Hey Y'all! I am Sorta Southern Single Mom and I usually make my home over at Single Mom in the South , but today, I'm here to steal some of Cyndy's thunder. I've decided I might just be able to challenge her in the competition of most DysFUNctional family. *grins*

I'm just back from a trip to The Great White North were I spent a week crammed into my parents tiny little bungalow with my parents, my two children, my sister and her then fiance as we prepared for their wedding weekend! Growing up, we never had more than 4 people living in the house, so with a big wedding coming up, we thought would be good to try 7...for a whole week. Now, mind you, Daddy did pull the RV up into the side yard and Evie and Jack did sleep out there... you know, sort of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation Style, so that alleviated some of the crowding, but while they did have electric, there was no sewer or water, so we were still working with 1.5 baths.

Can you say DysFUNctional?

Over at my blog, I told the story about my mom and her relationship with her Bathing Suit. It is her clothing item of choice and I now have even more proof!

We arrived late in the evening and after being in the car for 11 hours, let the kids take a bike ride. All seven of us went together with the big people walking behind the kids on their bikes. About a half mile from my parents house, I look over at my mother and realize that she had, in fact, joined us on our walk/ride in her bathing suit. Now, she was wearing a coverup, but it was obviously doing just that: covering up her bathing suit.

At least we were in her neck of the woods and not mine this time!

Fast forward to the next morning. The Girl and my mom were chatting while getting ready for the day. My mom mentions to The Girl that she has to go water the flowers around the corner at the church. Of course, The Girl, for whom I am just the vehicle that provided her with my mother, wants to go, but she is in her pajamas. My mom says (and I quote EXACTLY):

"You have to get dressed first. I usually just wear my bathing suit and put something over it."

The Girl turns to me and says, "Mamma! Where's my bathing suit?"

*Eyes bug out* Now we are trying to turn my child too! Oh NO NO NO!!!

I did get her a suit and a REAL dress to put over it and my mother did put an actual dress over hers, because, you know, you should dress up to go to church and all...

LAWD 'A MERCY!

You just can't make this stuff up!

Cyndy and her crew aren't the only ones that put the FUN in DysFUNctional!

Visit Sorta Southern Single Mom for more Dysfunctional Fun!

Adventures in Alyssaland

Hello, my lovelies! As you may remember if you read my post last week, I ran away from home!

But never fear; I wouldn't leave you without any dysfunctional entertainment.

Today's blogger is Alyssa from Adventures in Alyssaland, who says:

"In many ways I am crazy, my life is crazy. Welcome to Alyssaland. Such a nice place to visit you just might wanna stay."

Y'all may have already guessed, but Dysfunctional Mom does not sideline as a Tiger Mom. I'm not even on the same planet as a Tiger Mom. And organization? Only in the sense of 'organized chaos'. It's not unusual in our house to hear "I know exactly where that is, it's on the floorboard of the car. Crumpled up, passenger side, under the Diet Dr Pepper can."

So, check out this blogger's take on the situation:

I taught 5th and 6th graders a four-day course called “Taking the Stage.” I wrote a blog about it on Adventures in Alyssaland highlighting my exchanges with the tweens in a series of six line scenes. I thought about doing a recap of the revelations I had during and about the occasion; yet that might be overkill. Really, the experience wasn’t remarkable enough to merit two entries. However, now I am writing for a fresh readership on a Mommy Blog.

Big Grin.

On Tiger Mothers…

I am not a mom of any sort; nevertheless if I was I am too lazy to be a Tiger Mother. Moreover, why bother? Growing up I participated in kid things in the summer—swimming, tennis, summer reading program and camps. I graduated from college with honors, got jobs, relocated from the Midwest to California and now I live in my parents’ basement. Imagine how much more upset they would be if all they had believed I was special.

On Showcases…

They performed a skit for the parents at the end of the week. Cultivating creativity I let them craft their own scene. I wanted to apologize to the parents who taking time off from work straining to hear a series of playettes that made as much sense as listening to Jill Zarin snipe at Ramona Singer #teamblonde.

I applaud all adults who rearrange their day for showcases, recitals and the like. Don’t you ever want to pull a Vickie Gunvalson and scream; “I work!” over Coco Puffs?

Attention Deficit Disorder…

Not theirs, mine. I commented about hoping I remembered to bring in my computer wherein they offered to provide a note as I had for them. When I declined their kind proposal they provided equally helpful suggestions.

“You could write a big note on your hand. But it has to be in ink or marker.” Ah, the kids equivalent of a sticky note or text message to yourself.

“Put it right by the door so you see it before you leave the house.” Sadly, I tried that and still forgot it.

Busted.

Or at least bested.

I commend all the motivated Moms and Dads who attend Suzie and Johnny’s events during working hours while trying to make it look like your organizational skills are better than a 5th Grader.

I have a reunion show to watch.