Personal Accountability- A Rant.

Personal accountability.

It's a big issue with me.

I have known people throughout my life, children and adults, who don't seem to grasp this concept.

Any negative thing that happens in their life is the fault of someone else.

"I hit a parked car?
That person shouldn't have parked there. They were parked crooked. My eye doctor didn't give me the right eyeglasses!"

"Bounced a check? Bank error. Couldn't possibly have been anything else!"

Spill hot coffee on yourself? Sue McDonald's!

Overweight? It's not your fault, blame the Twinkies!

Struggling in school? It's not your fault, obviously the teacher doesn't like you!

When I was young, if I did something wrong, my parents tended to look at my friends and put some of the blame on them. I'm not doing my homework because of the friends I'm hanging out with. My grades are slipping because of them.

This makes no sense to me. Never in my life have my friends forced me to skip class, drink, smoke....none of that. I did do some of those things....on my own free will.

I don't believe in blaming others for our own mistakes. When my kids misbehave, I don't blame their friends. While I agree that our kids' friends influence them, I believe that blaming them for your kids' misbehavior is giving your kids a scapegoat and allowing them to avoid personal responsibility.

I think it's important to empower our kids and let them know that they don't have to be a follower. They make their own choices and don't have to follow their friends' lead. And if they choose to do so, they will take responsibility for those actions. The blame will not be placed on their friends. Their friends will not face the consequences of their actions. If my kids do well and get good grades, do their friends get credit for that? I don't think so. But it's the same concept.

We want to pat ourselves on the back for our kids' successes, and find someone to blame for their failures. But we're not doing our kids any favors that way.

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught." ~J.C. Watts

"Some favorite expressions of small children: “It’s not my fault. . . They made me do it. . . I forgot.” Some favorite expressions of adults: “It’s not my job. . . No one told me. . . It couldn't be helped.” True freedom begins and ends with personal accountability." - Dan Zadra