Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional: parenting teens

Showing posts with label parenting teens. Show all posts

5.21.2012

A First of Many Firsts

When my youngest child came to me asking about shaving her legs, a few thoughts ran through my head.
First of all: Wasn't she just born, like, last week? And now she's ELEVEN years old? How does this happen?
And then: OMG she's going to cut herself to pieces.
The thing is, she does need to shave. Her legs are quite hairy (sorry, kid), and we live in Florida. Shorts are worn year-round.
I just wasn't sure I was ready for yet another "first".
She's my last child. So all of her "firsts" are also "lasts"...her first Christmas was the last first Christmas I'd ever experience with a child. Same for her first steps, first words, first smile...
Her first day of Kindergarten nearly brought me to my knees!
And then there are those precious firsts...like last year when she and I sat on a dock and she saw her first shooting star. Priceless!
So here we are again, with yet another first. Her first time shaving her legs.
At first we tried the non-razor approach. We used a foam hair remover. It worked....somewhat. It left her stubbly and not smooth, and it was kind of a hassle, what with having to time how long the product was on her skin. "MOM!! Has it been five minutes yet?!?!"
So I finally let her move on to *gasp* razors.
And it really wasn't as bad as I thought.
I had visions of my own wounds from years past. I have had some lovely shaving-related injuries, which I won't elaborate on...you can thank me later. But times have changed, and the products available now are so much better.
I love that there are products specifically geared to women now. They smell fantastic and are made for the contours of our legs instead of men's faces.
The products we prefer are Venus Embrace & Satin Care Passionista Fruit shave gel. The Satin Care has a sparkling, fruity scent and is without a doubt the key to silky legs. It feels great!
And I love the Venus Embrace for Elayna. It has 5 blades for a close, comfortable shave. It also has a Ribbon of Moisture, for a smooth glide. This is so important...remember my flashbacks of shaving injuries past?? It also features a soft grip handle for great control, which also helps prevent those nicks and cuts.

So all in all, this was a good "first". She feels a little more grown-up and likes having silky smooth legs. I feel reassured that she's not going to cut herself up while getting those silky smooth legs. I'm glad these products are available now to help us get through one of many firsts in life! If you have a first-time shaver in your home, you should check out some of these great tips from Venus Embrace!

I know she's starting to pay more attention to her appearance and I want to make sure she's getting the right information from me. What are some of the ways you tackle conversations like shaving (or other "firsts") with your daughter?

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12.07.2011

Let me tell you about my kids.

Let me tell you something about my kids.

When I say my kids are awesome....

it does not mean I think they're perfect. It does not mean I turn a blind eye to their mistakes & shortcomings. It simply means I love them anyway. And I focus on the positive.

When I say I am proud of my kids...

it does not mean they never do anything wrong. It means they screw up, but they handle the situation well. They take responsibility and face the consequences.

Life is not about NOT making mistakes - it's how you handle those mistakes. Owning up, and learning from it.

When I say that my kids and I are very close...

it does not mean that I am their friend or that I try to get on their level. It just means that I have worked very hard to keep the lines of communication wide open between myself and my kids. And for the most part, I've done a damned good job of that.

When I say that I have been a good Mom...

it does not mean that I think I have been a perfect mom, that I have not made mistakes. It means that I have done my best, with the best of intentions and a heart full of love.

When I say that I love my kids unconditionally...

that is EXACTLY what I mean. No matter what my kids do, I will always love them with all my heart. I may be hurt, disappointed, or sad, but I'll always love them. I'll always have their backs. I will never turn my back on them.

Visit Things I Can't Say for more Pour Your Heart Out posts.

8.22.2011

DysFUNctional MOMents Tuesday!

I started this blog almost four years ago (in fact, next month is my blogiversary!). I named it "Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional", and became known as DysFUNctional Mom. So, it's no secret that I have my DysFUNctional MOMents, and I am pretty sure that YOU do too.

(yes, I'm looking at YOU!)

And now, the time has come for you to share them. Whether they're just funny, or a big oops, or even something that you really screwed up....we want to hear about them. And then, we want you to link up here! And it doesn't always have to be a parenting moment. We have dysfunctional moments of all types!

My favorite DysFUNctional MOMent of the past week is when I posted this as my Facebook status:

Cyndy: Is it too late to decide I dont want any children?

My kids were driving me NUTS that day! And fortunately, most of my Facebook friends get my sense of humor. Especially since I posted this the next day:

Cyndy: "A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible ...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind." - April Pierce

See? I have "wife" DysFUNctional MOMents, too! (I totally couldn't resist that one.)

And in keeping with the Facebook post theme, I'm sharing yet another one. I've had a raging toothache all weekend, and went to the dentist today. I need a root canal & I'm on meds for now. So this exchange occurred tonight between my niece and I:

Heather: Piiizzzzza for dinnah... big surprise?! Ehh, not so much!

OK, don't leave me hanging, I know I'm not the only one with DysFUNctional MOMents.

So, join in and link up.

Like all the other link-ups out there, please link directly to your "DysFUNctional MOMents" post, and please add my adorable "DysFUNctional MOMents" button to your post!

Personal Accountability- A Rant.

Personal accountability.

It's a big issue with me.

I have known people throughout my life, children and adults, who don't seem to grasp this concept.

Any negative thing that happens in their life is the fault of someone else.

"I hit a parked car?
That person shouldn't have parked there. They were parked crooked. My eye doctor didn't give me the right eyeglasses!"

"Bounced a check? Bank error. Couldn't possibly have been anything else!"

Spill hot coffee on yourself? Sue McDonald's!

Overweight? It's not your fault, blame the Twinkies!

Struggling in school? It's not your fault, obviously the teacher doesn't like you!

When I was young, if I did something wrong, my parents tended to look at my friends and put some of the blame on them. I'm not doing my homework because of the friends I'm hanging out with. My grades are slipping because of them.

This makes no sense to me. Never in my life have my friends forced me to skip class, drink, smoke....none of that. I did do some of those things....on my own free will.

I don't believe in blaming others for our own mistakes. When my kids misbehave, I don't blame their friends. While I agree that our kids' friends influence them, I believe that blaming them for your kids' misbehavior is giving your kids a scapegoat and allowing them to avoid personal responsibility.

I think it's important to empower our kids and let them know that they don't have to be a follower. They make their own choices and don't have to follow their friends' lead. And if they choose to do so, they will take responsibility for those actions. The blame will not be placed on their friends. Their friends will not face the consequences of their actions. If my kids do well and get good grades, do their friends get credit for that? I don't think so. But it's the same concept.

We want to pat ourselves on the back for our kids' successes, and find someone to blame for their failures. But we're not doing our kids any favors that way.

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught." ~J.C. Watts

"Some favorite expressions of small children: “It’s not my fault. . . They made me do it. . . I forgot.” Some favorite expressions of adults: “It’s not my job. . . No one told me. . . It couldn't be helped.” True freedom begins and ends with personal accountability." - Dan Zadra