I'm Pouring My Heart Out with Shell today!
I realized years ago that I am less observant than your average bear. I'm not totally oblivious to my surroundings (like my mother-in-law, who did not notice the neon pink streaks in my daughter's hair, I swear I am not making that up). But I tend to be wrapped up in my own thoughts; in my own world.
I figured out that I was different years ago when a friend of mine pointed out that an acquaintance of ours had worn the same outfit two days in a row. I would never have noticed that. Then, when I first started surfing the internet, I would see comments about what other people bought in the grocery store. I was honestly floored. I can promise you that, unless your groceries jump out of the cart and do a flash mob in the canned goods aisle, I am not paying any attention to what you're buying. Buy all the pop tarts & KoolAid you want.
In stores, I think I'm very focused on what I'm buying, staying within budget, what my kids are doing, and recently, my coupons. But in any situation, I'm just not the kind of person who pays attention to details. I may seem like I'm just in la-la land, but really I'm usually deep in thought about something; it could be anything from something I read or watched on TV to the court situation with Andrew or my relationship with my parents or my job........anything. the voices never shut up.
I also used to never notice anyone who needed a helping hand, but seeing my husband being so helpful changed that. Now I hold the door for the next person, even if that means I have to wait an extra moment (previously I wouldn't have noticed unless the person was right behind me). If someone drops something, I tend to notice that now and pick it up for that person, whereas before I probably would have drifted right on past.
It is absolutely not a matter of not caring. It's just a matter of not always noticing something until it's waving in my face.
For a long time, I've accepted this, but thought of it as a flaw. A negative aspect of my personality. But just recently, I saw it in a different light.
Sure, there are some ways in which it would be better if I were a little more aware, more attentive to details like while driving in my car. But when I'm busy focusing on my own life....I'm not noticing your kid having a tantrum in the store. I'm not even aware that you stuck that pack of cookies in the produce aisle while your kid wasn't looking. You see....I'm way too busy keeping my own kids corralled to notice your kids' behavior.
I am so busy minding my OWN business that I'm not meddling in YOURS.
And I don't know about you, but I know quite a few people who could take a lesson from ME!
Perhaps, if they focus more on their own life.....then they won't have time to watch and judge others. Maybe, just maybe, if they concentrate more on what's going on with their own family, they won't be so concerned with what's going in someone else's house!
What do you think?
16 comments:
OH I agree whole heartedly. Except when I am in charge of other people's kids and see their behavior in my house that the parents seem to condone, and I am left scratching my head wondering why.
i tend to be the last to know when there is life and drama going on around me. i don't navigate it well and rarely know what to say so i figure ignorance is bliss...when it comes to MOST things, not all but most!
Bravo! Well stated post. I pay attention to detail, but not other people's details. Until you mentioned it, I never really thought to pay attention to what others buy at the grocery store. Even when they're checking out in front of me I don't pay attention to what they're buying.
It's not my business. The other stuff, holding doors, picking up something that's dropped, I do. Do unto others...an old lesson that will never go wrong.
If you want people in your business, the surest way to get them there is to get into theirs.
Great post!
When I'm out grocery shopping, I'm not peeking in other people's carts either.
I like this: 'I am so busy minding my OWN business that I'm not meddling in YOURS.' More people should adopt this as their mantra.
I'm usually too busy trying to live thru my life to know what's going on in anyone else's. Until they come to me asking for help. But as to what someone buys in the grocery store? Never. I'm too busy adding pennies.
I definitely know some people who could take a lesson from you!
When I'm out with my kids, I'm so busy with them that I really have a hard time noticing anyone else.
Yes, that's exactly how I would have described you, not so much as "not observant" but as "minding your own business." I like you. I like that you won't give me a dirty look when I show up at the checkout with a cartfull of Doritoes.
I love you post! I live this way as well. I am not trying to be rude, I'm not ignoring you in the store, it's just I live in my only little world with three crazy kids. I think your realization is wonderful and a great way to look at it.
I love this! I definitely know some people who could learn a lesson or two from you!
If I'm out with my kids I'm so focused on them that I don't notice the stuff around me. And if I ever get the chance to go out alone? I'm too focused on enjoying my quiet time that I don't notice others! ;)
I don't look at what other people are buying either because #1- It's rude! and #2- I don't really care enough to look. ;)
I don't know how observant I am either. I always wondered how I would do if I had to describe a stranger (a thief or something) to a sketch artist. Probably not that well.
What a great lesson to learn. I'm learning to see those things that I thought were flaws for what they really are. If everyone in the world were overly observant it would be majorly annoying. Seriously.
Interesting post! I'm not a details person either. I can drive by the same store a 100 times and never even notice it, until I need what it is offering. I'm working at trying to notice the needs of others.
And judgements? I'm also too busy handling my own crazy kids!
My husband is like that - he never pays attention to anything - just always in his own world. It's funny, because he's an accountant, so you'd think he'd be kind of detail oriented - but I guess he's only detail oriented in his work.
I agree. If others just paid attention to themselves more and judged less it would change the tone of the world. I admit I'm guilty of it sometimes, but really trying to work on it.
Jennifer
Yup! Well said! I know the feeling of being distracted with all of those "voices". But, on the flip side, like you said. I'd rather be minding my own business. LOL Good point! There's a plus side to being spaced out all the time. I'm not airheaded or jello-brained. I'm just plain considerate. Hee hee!
I agree with you. I seldom pay attention to children or things that may upset others. I do pick up on the kindness and love to help when I can. I think people who dwell in other peoples business just don't have a love for themselves and their own life.
It usually boils down to jealousy.
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