Punctuation Saves Lives!

I confess. I'm sort of anal about punctuation and grammar. Not to the point where I expect perfection. Nor do I deliver perfection. We all make mistakes, and this is a blog, not our college thesis.
But there are some things that just drive me insane!


I love the title of this book. It's based on this joke:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

'Well, I'm a panda', he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large: black-and-white bear-like mammal; native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

~*~*~*~

This is a big-time pet peeve of mine.

When you're saying YOU ARE, it's "you're", not "your", people!

And here's another big one. I see this SO often and it seriously makes me itch. How have people gotten through at least 13+ years of school and not learned that the APOSTROPHE "S" signifies possession?

Here's an example for you: The DOGS are barking.
This is the DOG'S bowl.
It's really so simple.
ALL words that end in "S" do not require an apostrophe. I promise!

No no NO!!!

*Scream* I give up!

Oh, and if you happen to own a business, please make sure your signs do not have any grammatical or punctuation errors in them. Because if they do, people like me will rant and rave at their poor husbands (the only people who will listen to our tirades) and swear to never utilize your services.
I'm just saying.

Letters to Someone

Every Thursday, my friend ShortMama does a feature called Letters to Someone. I love me some ShortMama, her blog is absolutely adorable! Be sure you check out the wonderful Family of Shorts, you'll be glad you did.

This is my first time participating in Letters to Someone. I've always thought it was a great idea and this week I discovered that I have a lot to say!

Dear One-Upper,

For every story I tell, you have one more elaborate, more bloody, more painful...you get the idea. It's extremely annoying. My youngest children do this, but they are...well...children. You are grown. You are annoying. Nobody likes a one-upper. Find a new hobby!

Signed,

Irritated

Dear Know-It-All,

You are amazing. You know everything to know about every subject known to mankind. You have a college degree in...oh wait, nothing. A BS in BS, maybe. But astoundingly, you have a wealth of knowledge on every topic. You know far more than doctors, teachers, pretty much any so-called expert in any field. I have a funny feeling that you will have a rude awakening one of these days though!

Signed,

AmazedAtYourMadSmartz

Dear "You Don't Understand",

For every trial you go through, I don't understand. I have never felt what you feel, endured what you've endured. I.do.not.understand. I haven't been there. I don't understand how you feel because you can't sign your 5 year old daughter up for team sports. How could I understand? My daughters are 8 and 13 year old and just now playing team sports for the first time ever. But clearly, I can't imagine how you feel. I don't understand how it feels to have money worries. How could I? My husband was out of work for a month this summer, but oh no, money worries are a mystery to me. I simply do not understand!

Signed,

Uncomprehending

Dear Judgy McJudgerson,

You are my 'favorite' of all. Heh. You have something to say about everything. Nothing certain people do is good enough in your eyes. No matter the situation, you have a snide remark. A put-down. You do it better, faster, prettier, and nobody else can measure up. What you don't realize though....is that nobody cares!

Signed,

Judged

Dear All Of the Above,

You? Suck. Nobody likes you. I think it's time to step back and take a good look at yourself...and maybe make some changes. Because you? Are kind of a jerk.

Signed,

Over it!

This totally pets my peeve.

I think most all of us have pet peeves. I have a few relatively minor pet peeves. They annoy me, but they don't make me crazy or anything. Things like:

- the empty toilet paper roll being left in the holder

- when someone empties the ice trays and doesn't refill them

- not replacing the trash bag

- when someone starts a job, but doesn't finish it

- when someone chews with their mouth open/talks with their mouth full

- when someone moves any of my decorations a fraction of an inch

- I could go on...

OK, maybe some of those are a little crazy neurotic OCD excessive. That's just how I roll.

But there's another pet peeve that I have that turns me into a raging madwoman. I seriously wanted to rip the limbs off of a certain person who did this thing last night. And I don't believe a jury in the land would convict me.

Do.not.EVER. come up to me at work, while I am CLEARLY on the phone, clearly having a conversation with the person on the other end of the line, and start talking to me as if you are the only person on earth. In my opinion, this is equivalent to saying "I am far more important than you or the other person on the other end of the line, so start listening to me. NOW." It's arrogant, and unbelievably RUDE.

Since I work with nurses, we discussed it and decided that the ripping off of the arms would really adversely affect their nursing skills. So next time this person, or anyone else, does it, I will simply rip off a leg. She can limp around and still do her job. And then, perhaps, she'll have learned her lesson!

What pets your peeve?