38 & life is great

So, today is my birthday. I am not posting that just to get lots of birthday wishes that's just a bonus. There's a point here.

Turning 30 kicked.my.ass. It came right smack in the middle of one of the worst times of my life; my divorce. Thirty always sounded SO old to me. And my self-esteem was taking a beating at that time. Thirty sucked.

But 38? Awesome.

So I was thinking this week....how did my outlook change so much throughout the years?

For one thing, it's overall confidence. When you're not confident to begin with, getting older is just something else to lower that confidence level. I wasn't happy with myself & where I was in life, and getting older just magnified that.

I was also very unhappy with my physical appearance. I stayed away from scales back then, but I was very overweight, somewhere well over 200 pounds (and I'm a shorty!).

And I was just in such a bad place emotionally. I didn't know who I was or where I was going in life.

But in the years since then, so much has changed. On my thirty-first birthday, I met my husband. He loves me for who I am, and not someone he wants me to be. This has given me confidence to develop my strengths and accept my weaknesses. I have learned a whole lot about myself in my thirties. And most importantly I've become confident in who I am. It's not that I think I'm perfect or fabulous, it's simply that I know who I am, and I like that person, flaws and all.

Physically, much has changed. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2008 and lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of confidence. I am healthier, and look and feel far better than before. And the fact that I look young & healthy makes aging far easier to accept!

And I think being happy in my life allows me to be happy about my age. It's not because life is perfect; I'm pretty open here about our struggles, at least the ones I'm able to blog about. But it's because I look for the good in life. I search for the silver lining. I'm grateful for what we do have, for all of the wonderful things in our lives. I choose to focus on the positive, and not dwell on the negative. I cherish the simple things. I have faith that things will work out for the best for our family. I have a wonderful husband, whom I told just last night "I'd rather be going through tough times with you, than having a problem-free life with anyone else in the world." And I mean it. Also, I have four great kids who drive me off my rocker, who give me lots of gray hair, and whom I love with all my heart.

So 38 is great. I'm celebrating today and again on Friday. I'm going to have a blast!

And 40? Watch out world, I'm going to ROCK it!

Visit Shell @ Things I Can't Say for more Pour Your Heart Out Posts.