What the Duck?!

I was driving home from work yesterday, tired but happy because I was going to see Heather & Hayleigh and get some baby snuggle time. I was cruising along, singing along with the radio, and I noticed a bird in the road in front of me. Usually, they fly away before I get too close, but this one didn't move. As I swerved around it, I realized it was a duck. In the middle of the highway, in the middle of cow pastures.

WTD? (what the duck?!?)

It seemed to be trying to get out of the road, but it wasn't able to. I quickly made a U-turn and pulled the car over. I was hoping to help him off of the road, and maybe call a Wildlife Officer to help the poor little guy out. As I was walking towards the duck, a truck came around the corner.

"Please don't squish him, please don't squish him," I thought. Fortunately, the truck was in the outside lane, and the duck was in the inside lane.

I was almost there, walking through the grassy median, when two vehicles came around the corner. A truck on the outside lane, and a VW Beetle on the inside lane.

"Please don't squish him, please don't squish hiNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And in a flurry of feathers, the duck was no more.

The driver didn't even try to swerve, and didn't even tap his brakes! He just zoomed right by us.
Mother Ducker!!!

Seriously, I was mortified. It was awful. I just stood there for a minute, stunned, then slowly walked back to my car.

Fuck a duck.

In Which There Will Be F Bombs....

So if you haven't heard by now, Satan was recently hired by Google to revamp Blogger's Captcha feature. Which should be abolished, but instead was just made to suck much, much more than it already did.

People. If you don't take that shit off of your blog, I am not going to read your fucking blog any more. For serious.

I call for a boycott of all blogs with Satanic Captcha Feature.

It's pointless and useless and it gives you herpes.

I totally stole this from Holly because it's wonderfully perfect:

Good day, sirs and madams. Good day.

What's That? Up in the Sky??

My thoughts are fragmented. You have been warned. Proceed with caution.

~ I frequently crack myself up. Occasionally I amuse others, but always I amuse myself.

Example: the other day I was texting with a friend and said, "My favorite type of food is Mexicans." Then I saw what I'd said and laughed so hard I cried, and texted "OMG I do not eat MEXICANS! I meant MEXICAN!!!" Now I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a cannibal. With a taste for the spicy people.

~ I was just told, by a beautiful Puerto Rican woman, that I do not look American. Is it weird that I was extremely flattered by that? I mean, I do have an enormous girl-crush on Sofia Vergara so it shouldn't be much of a surprise, I suppose. (I so love the way she says "Easssy Breesssy Beauteeful" in the Cover Girl ads!)

~ I was also told last week that I look like Selena Gomez.

I wish!!

~ The other night Elayna was talking to me and said "when we were in Third Grade, my friend Madison was dating this guy-" and I have no idea what she said next because I died laughing.

Seriously? Dating in third grade? Gotta love it.

~ My recent FB Status:

Cyndy DysfunctionalMom: Able to be late to any event, regardless of time. Able to trip over completely flat, uncluttered floors. Able to bump into things that do not exist. CERTAIN to get into crazy situations & predicaments....I am...DISASTER GIRL!! Now where did I put my cape?

I leave you with a great song & a wish for a happy weekend!

Remembering CJ

I've posted here before about my dear bloggy friend Hallie, who lost her beloved son, CJ, to suicide.

Hallie & her family are never far from my thoughts. I can't even wrap my head around what she has been through, what her life is like now.

I can tell you that it has affected my relationship with my children, particularly my son, and his friends. I don't tiptoe around, fearful of doing or saying the wrong thing....but I am mindful. Mindful that suicide does happen. Nobody is immune, and it happens to those you would least expect it to. I try to make sure my children know that no matter what, I love them unconditionally, and they can always come to me with their problems. I don't want to lose them and then wonder if they knew how much I loved them.

Recently, one of my son's friends came to me at a low period in his life. Like a lot of kids his age (19), he's trying to figure out where he fits in in the world, and what he wants to do with his life, and he was feeling like he wasn't in a very good place in life. I tried to choose my words so carefully, to encourage him that it was normal for him to be at this place at this time. And to encourage him to find his passion in life, set goals, and go for it. But most of all to let him know that I love him unconditionally for who he is. He has two wonderful parents who love him that way too, but sometimes kids think "they're my parents, they have to love me". I wanted him to know that I CHOOSE to love him that much, because he deserves it, and because he's smart and kind and amazing. Did I change his life, or even make a huge difference? I don't know. He was very sweet and thankful. We talked for hours over two days. I only hope and pray that I helped him in some way. I also hope and pray that my kids can come to me at times like that, and if not me, someone else who will encourage them and pull them through.

That being said, Hallie is doing a fundraiser in honor of her beloved CJ, and I wanted to bring attention to that here. It's a raffle and for every dollar you donate, you get a chance to win one of 16 different prize packages.

Hallie's Fundraiser

Hallie, I will never, ever forget you or CJ. I send you my love.

Late for the Party

I'm always late. It drives me crazy. It drives everyone crazy!
It's one of those things I'm working on. I'm making progress, slowly.
So of course, I'm late for WWTK! But at least I'm not a whole day late. See? Progress!



This week Crazymama wants to know how you pamper yourself...

{1} What is your go to color if you paint your nails? do your toes and fingernails match?
purple!! I rarely paint my nails but my toes are always purple. It's my favorite color so it's fun to always have purple somewhere on me. It makes me smile. =)

{2} Have you ever gone for a mani/pedi? how often do you go?
many manis, only one pedi ever. I didn't like it. I have an aversion to feet *shudder* and did not care for having mine messed with.
I haven't had a mani in forever!

{3} Do you color your hair? do you have a salon do it or do you do it yourself?
I saw my first gray hair when I was 20 years old, shortly after having my first child. We tend to go gray early in my family. So I have been coloring for many, many years, and would probably be fully gray by now if I didn't. I usually do it myself but occasionally treat myself to a professional color. I usually stick close to my natural color, dark brown. Once a stylist went WAY heavy on the highlights and I ended up very blonde - and I HATED it! I am not meant to be a blonde. I love being a brunette!

{4} Facials...have you ever had one?
nope

{5} Would you or have you ever done botox?
I have not, but I would consider it. I've mentioned this before here....looking young is my vanity. I am so fortunate to look much younger than my age; once that no longer comes naturally, I may just help it along! ;o)

{6} Beauty knows no pain, do you believe in waxing, electrolisis, eyelash extentions, anti-aging creams, micro-dermabrasion, peels, botox?
I get my brows waxed regularly, and I think eyelash extensions are gorgeous, although I've never had them. I 'believe' in all the rest, although I've never done any of them (except occasionally used anti-aging creams). If I feel the need down the road & have the money, I may just go for it!

Visit our lovely hosts for more WWTK posts ~~
Mamarazzi, Queso, and Crazymama!

A Moving Post

As many of you know, we recently moved. There are a lot of changes & adjustments involved in moving. Let's discuss some of them.

1. We moved from a house way back in the woods to a house in a neighborhood near a relatively busy road. Before, if we heard a car pull up, someone was visiting us. Now, there are cars riding around us all the time. We feel popular - for a minute..........

2. We are now walking distance from a store. A store that sells Diet Dr Pepper (and Mike's Hard Lemonade). Hallelujah!!

3. I will NEVER move my armoire again. I will burn that bad boy. It will kick your ass, then stomp on you while you're down.

4. Taking your son shopping for bedding, towels, etc. is a very bizarre experience. Fun, but sad.

5. Working for nine straight days immediately after moving is NOT something I recommend! Usually I am unpacked within a day or two of moving. We're 2 weeks in here and not even close! I'm a flipping zombie.

6. If I hear the question, "Mom, do you know where _____ is?" ONE MORE TIME I'm going to put a hole in the wall. WITH MY HEAD.

.....and last but certainly not least.....

7. It's important to remember that we now have neighbors. Particularly when some of our windows do not yet have any curtains or blinds. (sorry, new neighbors!)

P.S. I had a very nice Valentine's Day & I hope you all did too!

Tickle Tickle Tickle!

It's been a very eventful week at the Casa de Dysfunction. Along with the arrival of our little Hayleigh, there was another big life change: my son moved out on his own. He and a friend are renting a home together. It's literally only 2 miles from my door to his, but it's still a little sad for me. I know he'll be visiting a lot, though. Because he likes my cooking. =)

**

Hayleigh went home yesterday and they are all doing very well. I'm going to visit her today. The kids are at their Dad's so I don't have to share her, I can snuggle her all I want! Bliss!!!

**

My 93 year old client said the word "titties" the other day. I almost fell on the floor! I love her to pieces. She tells me she loves me every time I leave. I have the best job ever!

**

Have you seen this yet? LOVE.

Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle!!

Enjoy your weekend! Don't forget to visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragments.

The Pout that Melts Our Hearts....

Hayleigh Faith arrived at 11:28 pm on Monday, February 6th, 2012.

She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

Mom, Dad, and Baby are doing very well.

LOVE her adorable pout! She looks just like her daddy.

I prefer the term "Awesome-Aunt" over "Great-Aunt", thank you very much.

Shelbie

Elayna

Tim

We are all in love!

Heather had a nasty cold & fever, so they are keeping them and giving both mom & baby antibiotics and monitoring their temps. If all goes well, they'll be going home tomorrow.

Thanks for all of your well-wishes!

Today is the Day!

My niece was induced this morning

and will be having her baby girl today!

I will update when I can!