I Refuse to be Last in Line

.....but I Will, I Will, I Will be your Everything........

About seven years ago, after my first husband and I divorced, I attended some counseling classes through our local domestic violence shelter. I'm very glad I did; I learned a lot and it was really good for me. But then, something happened that made me stop going.

It was a group therapy meeting, and we were discussing what to look for in a future partner. The leader would write all of our answers on a chalkboard. We went around the circle and gave our input. The leader encouraged us to say absolutely anything that we wanted in our future relationships, from the shallow to the serious. Her own answer was that she had to have a man who knew how to dance. Another answer around the circle was that he had to have a nice butt. Others were more serious.

When she got to me, I answered, "I just want to be a priority, instead of someone to be with when there's nothing better to do."

And the group leader laughed at me, told me that I needed to start attending their relationship classes, and moved on to the next person in the circle, not even writing my answer on the board.

I was embarrassed and hurt. Is is truly too much to want to be a priority in someone's life? I didn't even say the very first priority. I didn't say that his world must revolve around me.

But I didn't want to be the last resort. The one to be with when everyone else was busy. I didn't want to be the one he stumbled home to when the beer was all drank up and the party was over.

I left that class and never went back again. I should have complained about the way I was treated. I didn't deserve that, and neither do any of the women who take her class in the future.

It didn't change my mind, though. I still wouldn't settle for being at the bottom of someone's list, ever again. I knew I wouldn't be happy, so why bother? I'd rather stay single then go through all of that again.

But in the end, I got what I did deserve. I got a man who not only makes me a priority, but his top priority. From the time we met, his world actually did revolve around me. He told me early on, "my only goal is to make you happy". And he works hard to do that even now, almost seven years later.

It's not all sunshine and roses and romance. It's day to day life, with a built in family, exes, stress, money worries, aging parents, you name it. But he is my best friend, and my ROCK. He is always there for me. If he's not working, he is with me. There is nothing that he would choose to do over spending time with me. In fact, he's turned down many offers just to sit at home with me.

So maybe for that counselor, she doesn't feel like she is worth being a priority. But I knew that I was, and now I am.

Today is my sweet husband's birthday.

I hope he knows I love him, as much as I know he loves me.

Pouring My Heart Out with Shell @ Things I Can't Say -

today is the Anniversary Edition!

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