Music to my Ears

One day recently, I was talking to my teen daughter, Shelbie, and one of her friends. I brought up something that Shelbie had told me about, and her friend said, "Shelbie!! You told your Mom about that?!" And Shelbie replied, "Of course! I tell my mom everything."

I can't tell you how good that made me feel. Not because I believe for a moment that she literally tells me EVERYthing. I'm sure she has her little secrets, and she should. She's a teenager.

But when I was her age...I told my mother NOTHING. We just didn't have that kind of relationship.

I don't believe in being a 'friend' to my child. I have friends, she has friends. She doesn't need me to be another friend, my role is to be her mother. In fact, I think trying to be your kids' friend is a dangerous road to travel...but that's another post for another time.

However, ever since I was a teenager, I hoped that I could have a different kind of relationship with my kids. My mother knew nothing of my personal life. She knew who my friends were, and that was about it. She never knew who I had a crush on. She never knew my dreams, my worries, my random thoughts. We just didn't talk like that. And I could never go to her with my problems or concerns. We just didn't have that kind of relationship.


But with my kids, I do. My teenage son and I are also very close, but it's a little different with him, because he's a boy, and he doesn't talk and open up as much as his sister does. But still, we have a much closer relationship than I did with my parents, and he's told me many things that I would never have told my parents, at that age....or any age.

But Shelbie....she tells me so much. I am very involved in her life. In fact, sometimes she talks to me until my eyes cross - about her day; her friends, her crushes, her friends' crushes; clothes, music, makeup, hair; her classes, and he said, and then she said, and I was like, OMG!.....yeah. Sometimes it's exhausting!


But I wouldn't have it any other way. Because my hope is that if she tells me the little things, then she'll also know she can tell me the big things. She doesn't have to carry huge weights around on her own shoulders, like I did. She can come to me, and we can figure things out together.


So far, I think we're doing well in that regard. So even when she's chattering away at 50 words per second and my head is about to explode....it's music to my ears.

{ Shelbie, Me, and our Best Friends}