8.16.2008

True Mom Confessions

I recently stumbled on a website called True Mom Confessions. On this site, anyone can anonymously leave a confession. There's everything from silly confessions, like a mom not wanting to match all of the socks together and going out and buying more, to serious stuff, like a mom having to get tested for STDs after discovering her husband had cheated.
It's sickly fascinating.
So I decided to do my own True Mom Confessions, and I invite you to leave me some confessions in my comments. If they're really deep, dark secrets, feel free to leave them anonymously. Free your mind, get the burden off of your shoulders...confess to me!

Here are mine.

1. I had Post Partum Depression after my first child was born, but I was so ashamed that I never admitted it or got help. Things were so different 15 years ago, it was so taboo back then. I thought if I had PPD it meant I wasn't happy to have my son, or to be a mother.

2. Some of you already know this, but I was not quite 20 when I had my first child. He was born in March, I turned 20 in May. I was married when he was conceived, and he was a sort-of planned pregnancy. (no BC used, we decided to see what happened for that month and go from there. T-bone happened!)

3. I had to go back to work when he was 6 weeks old and it ripped my heart out. I eventually got fired from that job because when he was sick, I stayed home with him. He had asthma and chronic ear infections, so I stayed home a lot. Losing that job was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

4. When my second child was born, my (now-ex) husband wanted me to go back to work when she was 6 weeks old, too. I couldn't do it. I stayed at home with my kids and I loved it. I also watched other children in my home for extra money.

5. Supposedly, my "refusal to work" was one of the things that my ex hated about me and contributed to the end of our marriage. I wouldn't change it for the world. I loved my time staying at home with all three of my kids, and the separation and then divorce from my ex was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

6. I had a lot of fun after my divorce, on the weekends that my kids were with their dad. Way too much fun. Partying, drinking, doing the things that most people do in college, which I never did because I was married and having kids. I look back upon that time fondly. I didn't expose my kids to any of that stuff. In fact, besides my now-husband, they only met one guy during that time, and he was just a friend.

7. A few months after I met my now-husband, he and his son moved in with me. My parents and sister were mortified. They thought it was horrible that I'd live with someone without being married, and 'expose my kids' to that. I don't regret that either. They now adore my husband and know that I wasn't just rushing into something stupid.

8. I am totally scatterbrained and disorganized in most ways. I forget things and lose things. I used to beat myself up over it. Now I just accept it and do the best I can.

9. I truly enjoy alone time. I do miss my kids, but I value time by myself, or with my husband. And I make the most of it.

10. I actually look forward to being a grandmother. Although I of course don't want it to happen any time soon, I think it'll be awesome to see my kids become parents, to be able to spoil my grandchildren, and to be able to play with babies and then give them back to their parents when they poop!

OK...spill your confessions to me!

20 comments:

Feener said...

Wow, that was interesting, thanks for sharing.

Kelly said...

I'm definitely going to check out that website...
Thanks for being brave and sharing your confessions!

Debbie Y. said...

I have to confess when my daughter was 8 we moved back to Alabama from KY. I asked her to clean out her closet and left her to it with several boxes and a garbage bag. When I came up to check on her a few hours later, she was sitting in the middle of the closet playing with all her toys and nothing, nada, nil, was in the carboard boxes or the garbage bag. I was furious, livid from head to toe, that she had not done anything to help with the move. I felt that my request was a simple one and a task that she was fully capable of completing. In fact, my idea had been that all she had to do was dump all the little plastic Kens and Barbies over into one box and all the other crap into another, but she decided that she would rather have play time instead of taking care of business as I had asked. When she saw my face and realized how mad I was at her for not doing what she was told, she started climbing up out of the closet cause she knew what was coming. I tried to grab her by the arm, but because she was scramblin' away from me, I caught her by her skinny little "Olive Oyle" neck instead. She swears to this day (and she is now 22) that I was so mad I tried to strangle her, but that is just not the case. She has her version of the story and I have mine (and I'm stickin' to it). She did get a spanking that day for not obeying.

Wep said...

Thanks for the commenty love :) I discovered today that I enjoy my time alone too.

True confession time. I'm not one of those overly religious people or anything, but I was raised with going to sunday school and the advent wreath. That was the extent of it.

My dad got cancer when I was in high school. It was a really bad kind and he was in a lot of pain. I remember being 16 and laying in my bed one night and yelling at God to make up his mind. Make him better or take him. Just pick already.

The phone rang about an hour later. I heard my mom and sister crying. They told me in the morning. My dad had died in his sleep that night.

Freaks me out to this day.

Carrie said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my saucy blog! Your blog is B-E-A-utiful!!!

Tammie said...

I really don't have any deep secrets...not that i don't make parenting mistakes---i just do it out in the open and don't make a secret of it.

i love your secret about needing your alone time. Im the exact same way....if i deal with too much in a single day without having a few minutes to be alone with my thoughts, i get very stressed.

Anonymous said...

My confession is that I am scared to raise my kids alone, but I am more afraid of raising them with an alcohlic father.

Kellan said...

I've heard of this site, but never visited it - I need to go check it out. I enjoyed all of your confessions!

Have a good week - Kellan

LaskiGal said...

I may need to visit this site . . . very, very interesting.

And, I love learning more about you. Honest. Raw. And very, very cool (even if you don't think so!).

My confession. I secretly sneak chocolate at night (and other food).

My other one. I despise my brother's wife. I loathe her while I tell everyone else to "give her a chance." I'd rather pop my eyeballs out and roll them in dirt than have to be in the same room with her.

And, I am the least hateful person I know. But after years and years of trying with her . . . I give up.

There. Does that confession work?

Mrs4444 said...

I'm so glad you popped in today; I love your blog. Did you design it? I've added you to my reader :) Off to check out that site! (I'm addicted to PostSecret, so I'm sure I'll like it.)

mommaof4wife2r said...

thanks for stopping by my blog...

i love this idea. it's kinda refreshing. love the honesty!!! i love beinga stay at home momma too! so glad u were able to be with the kids. :)

Lauren said...

Thanks for coming by my blog by way of Carrie. Your blog is really pretty!

Sorry to learn you suffered PPD all alone. As a Doula it breaks my heart to know that you felt those ways. I am glad to know that somehow you pulled out of it without any outside help.

I have a doula blog and it's listed on my sidebar if you ever want to read about birth today.

Hope to see you around again soon. Lately I post pretty heavy stuff, but I am a mixed bag blog so hang around long enough and you get the fun stuff too :-)

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

Debbie - that made me laugh but I guess it wasn't funny at the time!

Wep - that would freak me out too. =(

Carrie - thanks!

Anonymous - I've been in a similar situation and I'm so sorry.

Laskigal - works great. I used to feel the same way about my SIL, in fact. Things have gotten better but there were times...ugh!

Mrs 4444 - Thanks! I found the header and added the blog name. The background is from TheCutestBlogontheBlock.com.

Bad Momma said...

I was "turned-on to this site earlier this year and made my "confession". I later posted about it. Everyone made me feel so much better.

Your confessions are more serious (I was going to say honest, but sadly mine is true!)

Thanks for sharing!

http://bad-momma.blogspot.com/2008/02/true-confessions.html

Sandy C. said...

Ooh those are some great confessions. I did not know most of those about you :) Ditto on the alone time. And remember that heartbreak returning to work after 6 weeks :(

I stopped over at the mom confession site. Very cool!

Jacki McHale said...

First off thanks for stopping by! LOVE your blog layout, Love dogs and cats too. I SO agree on the Pet Store thing, but nobody gets it.
Not sure what catagorizes a "mommy blogger" but I think you fit there well.

OK onto the subject of TMC. I found the site a few years ago, and I LOVE IT. I was a member of the forum and almost a moderator for the forum. But I was busy, and thought it would be a bit much for me to keep up with. I still LOVE to visit TMC when I can, I suggest everyone to go visit it often, and check out the TOC (true office confessions they are FUNNY!

Anywho, before this becomes a post of its own I will leave you with this confession...
I too had PPD with both my kids, only my husband knew of my depression and mood swings. Sadly I didn't want anyone to think I was more nuts then I am, and just acted fake happy when around others.

Jennifer said...

i love reading your blogs..

Lane Boyz Mom said...

This was an excellent post!!!

Hmmm, like one of your other commenters, I think I do everything out in the open, no real parenting confessions, LOL

Although I will say that while I was growing up I hated being alone, couldn't even drive to the store for a gallon of milk for my Mom without calling one of my friends to go along with me, now...ahh now, I want that precious time alone! I love the silence when the kids are at school and my husband is at work. No TV. No radio. I ignore all phone calls UNLESS its one of the schools that the kids are at!

Now I don't want that ALL the time, but a few hours a day will do just fine;) LOL

Brenda Jean said...

I have to tell you that I too lived with my husband before we were married. I'd had a first marriage for 6 years that was verbally abusive and he had fooled me before we were married right out of college--a week after being married he was a different person. Ugh. So, when my hubby and I moved into together (I was 28) I broke it to my mom said, and I kid you not, she said:

"How do you know he's not an axe murderer?". Well, almost 20 years and 3 kids later I can safely say he has never murdered anyone. BAHAHAHAHA

By the way, I'm new to SITS:)

What A Card said...

Love the true confessions post, too! I'm sorry you had to go through those bad times, but it sounds like it made you the person you are today.

My true confession: I should be playing with my kids now, but I got caught up in reading your blog. So back to the boys...