Word to My Mother

Oh, my Mother. She is so good to me, and she drives me so very crazy. Although she claims that she understands that I work full time and have a house full of kids, pets, and responsibilities, still she would love for me to call her every.single.day. and talk for at least 2.5 hours. I'm totally serious. And if I don't answer her calls, she pouts.
She is sixty seven years old, and she still pouts.
But I can usually make her laugh and she comes around.
Now, let me tell you about something else that this sixty-seven year old lady does.
She texts. Often. And not only that, she uses text-speak! And she does it like a pro.
I don't even use text-speak, and I am thirty years younger than her!
She texts like a teenager, and it cracks.me.up.

So I'm going to subject you to share with you two recent texts I received from my Mama.
She ordered one of my birthday gifts and had it shipped directly to me, and heaven forbid, I didn't let her know that I received her gift. So I got this:

guess i sent ur b.gift to the wrong address.they said it had been delivered.
(Queen of Passive Aggressive, she knew she had sent it to the right address!)
I called her and teased her about her mean text message, and she acted all innocent!

Then later I got this:
i dont want u to get me anything for m.day!
(Queen of Martyrdom, she knows she wants gifts!)
My reply was: well too bad!

I'm going to try to say this like my mom would:

hope U have a great m.day!