Today, I had a chauffeur.

Today, I had a chauffeur driving me around town. And that makes me want to cry.
Why, you ask? That chauffeur was my 15 month year old son.
How in the hell did he turn 15 when I turned my back for just a moment?
T-bone is my only son. I have a stepson who I love dearly. But he has a mother who loves him. I consider him one of my own, but T-bone is my firstborn baby son. He made me a mother. He made me feel that love that you have for your child, that is like nothing else on this earth. I never knew I could love that intensely, that fiercely.
He and I have a bond that nothing will take away. He and I can yell at each other and get so mad at each other that we're ready to explode! But 5 minutes later we'll be cracking up.
When he was really little, he'd spontaneously say "I love you" quite often. One day in a store, a lady heard him and laughed and said, "Uh-oh, what does he want?" But he didn't want anything. He just liked to tell me he loved me a lot.
And he liked to sing to me. And rock the kitten to sleep singing "Amazing Grace". And a million other adorable things.
And then there were embarassing things. When his sister was only a few months old, and he was not quite three, we were at the grocery store and we saw a friend of mine. Of course, she was oooh-ing and aaah-ing over the baby.
I don't know if he was getting jealous of the attention or what.....but he leaned over and licked the baby.
On the head.
He licked his sister. I wanted to crawl under the cereal display. But now it's hilarious!
So, now my loving little licker is driving around. He takes turns a little too fast and makes me think he's not going to stop in time to avoid hitting the stopped car in front of us. But he's brand-new and learning, and doing a good job.
And I'm learning, too. I'm learning that I've done a great job with this boy, and I'm so proud of him. I'm learning to let go, even though I want to shrink him back into a 2 year old. I'm learning when to give him advice about life, and when to let him figure things out on his own. Because he's amazingly good at figuring things out on his own, when given the chance. He's very perceptive and knows more than people think he does. He's quite mature, as well.
And I'm totally babbling on here because I have so much on my mind, and so many mixed emotions running through me right now. In fact, I have more things on my mind that I'd LOVE to share here, but I can't, because certain people read my blog. And it really sucks that I can't share with you the way I'd like to because of that.
Hippos abound.


sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

awwhh, what a cute post about your little licker. you made me grin reading about your first born :)

happy friday, kathleen

Kathryn said...

And I'm sitting here bawling because I know all too soon I will be writing similar things about my boys.
sniff, sniff

HaddockTeacher said...

It's sometimes SO tough to let them grow up! It's like one day you sit back and say... WOW! When did that happen? He can tie his own shoes now! He read a novel! He's DRIVING! He can put the toilet seat down! He's finishing high school! (hehehe do men EVER grow up enough to put the toilet seat down consistently?)

Kimmylyn said...

Awh.. this post was adorable..

and boo to the hippos..

LunaNik said...

My daughter pretends she's a puppy and licks her sister all the time. Her sister isn't thrilled about it either. ;)

Sandy C. said...

Awwww...My daughter has recently taken up panting like our dog :(

Time goes by too quickly. Why must they grow so fast?

Alison said...

another milestone...reminds you of how fast the time flies...he sounds like a wonderful young man...you have done a great job!!

Chel said...

That's so cute... licking his sister. :) I hate to sound like I work in the insurance business, but tell him a couple of things from me, ok?

ALWAYS wear his seat belt. They're not playing when they say it can save his life. If he's ever (God forbid!) in an accident, call the police. And take photos of the scene with his cell phone.

Most importantly, assume every other driver on the road is stark raving crazy. Because lots of them are. :)

Good luck to you both.

OHmommy said...

I am bawling right now... cause I know how fast it goes by. Why? Why oh why must they grow!!!!

Givinya De Elba said...

Lovely post! I feel the same way about my boy, and he's only 3! How many times will it be multiplied by the time he's 15? (I'm wanting to say 5 times, duh, but I think It will be much more!)


PS thanks for stopping by my blog!

Kel said...

I know how you feel - not with MY kids (they're too small) but my nephew is old enough to drive and when he gets behind the wheel, I get scared. Truth is he's a good kid, but it's moments like these that make you wonder where the time went.

Anonymous said...