Sweaty Hot Fun

No, not that kind. For that kind, go here.
This morning I volunteered at the Princess's school. They were having their end-of-year carnival. I had the jump rope and hula hoop station.
It actually went surprisingly well. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but see....I don't like kids.
Obviously, I love my kids. They are a notable exception. And much of the time, I even like them! But Other Peoples' Kids? Notsomuch.
See, OPK? They smell. They have snotty noses. They don't listen, and they tattletale.
The only other exception is kids under 2.5 years old. I love ALL of them.
After that, only if they're mine. Or my family. Or good friends.....
OK so I guess I only don't like SOME kids.
But today? That was an amazing group of FOUR first grade classes. Not one of them was smelly or rude. I had a blast.
Then we got home, and about 3:30pm, the a/c took a big old POOP. Now, in Florida, that's not acceptable. Not at all. And nobody could come out to fix it until tomorrow.
So we packed it up and went to my parents' house. They are out of town, otherwise I would've stayed in the heat and sucked it up. I love the parents dearly, but I can only tolerate them in small doses.
So, they are extremely paranoid about their home. They warned me about a million stupid things. So when Dysfunctional Dad was dropping me off at work, I asked Ladybug if she'd locked the back door when she came inside. She said she had, but I started thinking about how my parents would TOTALLY flip out if anything happened while we were there. I told them we'd have to join the Witness Protection Program, and make up new names.
DD said he wants to be either Hiram Boheevens, or Shalofeeus McClacken. (I have NO idea where he comes up with this stuff.)
Ladybug wants to be Carrie or Cassie (the latter of which was almost my name), and the Princess wants to be Suzanne, but called Suzie.
I think I'll be Elizabeth.
How about you? What's your Witness Protection Program name?


A Buns Life said...

How did I know that that link was going to go to Krissy's site? :) I really didn't even need to click it to find out.

Groovy Mom said...

Oh, I'm pretty much the same way with OPK. I'm like OPK as long as I don't have to teach them, herd them, feed them, or wipe their butts or noses.

LunaNik said...

OMG...I don't like other peoples kids either!!!!! And here I thought I was the only one.

My alias?

Would be Ivana Humpalott.


Kathryn said...

I knew you were linking to Krissy's without even checking! HA!

I used to feel the same way about other people's kids. Now I'm am becoming a bit more tolerant. Just a bit. ;)

Carrie said...

Clearly, I vote that her Witness Protection Name be Carrie.

Tara R. said...

Cool... this is like picking a porn name. There is a small town on the way to where my dad's family lives in Ohio - I've always loved the name - it's called Bellefontaine... so mine would be Belle Fontaine. (I'm with you on liking other people's kids... not so much. I bet yours are great though. =))

Kimmylyn said...

You would absolutely hate coming to my house this weekend where it will be filled with about 25 little kids.. where I will then spend the next day de-germing EVERYTHING.

Sorry about the A/C that sucks. (not that you don't know that)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Kimmylyn - 25??? Oh my JEEZUS!! You are a brave woman.
The a/c is fixed now! WOOT!

Sandy C. said...

Krissy rocks!

I have no patience with other people's kids too. Heck, I have little patience for my own.

My name- Jennu Wine Doubledees :)

OHmommy said...

Heehee... I dislike others people kids. A. Lot.

Tammie said...

yeah...i def. am not real fond of other peoples kids either. i'm bound by law to put up with the annoying things my own children do, but i have little patience for others.

im so glad you found me dysfunctional mama! i had tried googling gainesville area bloggers a while back and only came up with a bunch of real estate blogs---figures!

i am totally adding you to my blogroll.

by the way--glad your ac is fixed.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

yuck, but glad you got it back to normal again. i grew up in the HEAT on the east coast. when we were kids, we used to make "air conditioning forts" to survive. we would make a fort of cushions and blankets over an A/C vent and climb in and stay until we froze. then climb out til we were too hot again then climb back in to freeze. repeat repeat. the makings of a great cold, eh.

my name? tough one. how about Cadbury Bar? yummy!

great day, kathleen