2.28.2011

Moments

With four kids, it's always hard to find time to be with each individual child.
It's rare that I get a good chunk of time with just one of them, so I have to take small moments, anywhere I can get them.

The other night, my girls went with my niece to choose & order their bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. John and Tim were at work, so this left me and Andrew at home by ourselves. Shortly after they left, he came up to me and just started talking. Right away he mentioned the situation going on with his biological mother (a.k.a. the egg donor). It was obvious that it was weighing heavily on his mind and he needed to talk about it. I listened to him, and reassured him as much as I could. He seemed to feel better, and went off to play the Wii. It was just a short conversation, but those are the times that I have to take when I can get them.

That same night after the girls got home, Elayna was tired and grouchy, but didn't want to go to bed. Andrew was already asleep, and Shelbie had a friend over and they were doing karaoke in another room. Elayna laid down on the couch with her head on my lap, and I slowly ran my fingers through her hair, and stroked her head, until she was so sleepy she could barely stumble into her room. A very brief and simple thing, but a cherished moment.

The next day, Shelbie and I were talking at dinner and realized we needed a few things from the store. I decided that she and I would make a quick trip after dinner, just the two of us. Usually even for quick trips, it's the whole family or at least three kids tagging along. But occasionally, just the Teenager and I get a chance to sneak off on our own, and I love it. We laugh and tease each other. I lock her out of the car and embarrass her. And we talk. Again....a short space of time. But one that I can't take for granted. She is 15 and still wants to be seen with me. She is 15 and still likes to go places with me. She is 15 and will be grown before I know it. I have to grab these moments while I can.

And then there's Tim. Tim will be eighteen next month. He is a senior in high school. And he lives primarily with his Dad; he's with me every other week from Thursday - Monday. He has a job at a burger place. So, time with him is even harder to come by than it is with the other three. One thing that works to my advantage is being a night owl. He works late hours sometimes on the weekends, and I'm always up when he gets home, and often the only one up. We talk about anything and everything, from life in general to crazy things that happened at work. He has always had this gift of asking me questions that I either have to really think about the answer for, or have never thought of myself, or have no idea how to even answer them. He still does that. This kid makes me THINK. And then I throw something back at him that makes him think, or look at something from a different angle. We may not always agree, but we generally respect each others' opinions. We debate. And we make each other laugh. A few late night moments....and we make the most of them.

I hope I'm always able to at least have these little moments, grabbed here and there, with my kids. Where it's just the two of us, and we talk, or we listen, or we don't talk at all. I'll never outgrow it....I hope they don't either.




*Note* I did it! I blogged every day in February for NaBloPoMo! I'm so proud of myself. Don't be concerned if I take a few days off! If we get any news re: Elayna's thumb I'll update on Facebook. She's going to the orthopedic doc tomorrow.

16 comments:

Kristin - The Goat said...

I'm not a Mom, but I do know how important it is to spend one on one time with kids. They need to know that you are looking at them, listening to just them and being with them. What a lovely post.

Congrats on blogging every day! It's a toughy sometimes. I've given myself permission a few times this year already to NOT blog each day. It's weird to take a day off for me LOL

Diane said...

It is rare that I have one on one time with my sons but I've been telling myself that I'd like to start setting time aside to do that because they are so different apart than they are together. There's not all the sibling rivalry and bickering and fighting for attention going on.

April said...

The "moments" that you're referring to need to be treasured. They'll bring you great comfort in the upcoming years when your kids venture out on their own. Isn't it wonderful to have such close relationships with your kids?

Brandy@YDK said...

so sweet. I'm glad you can find one on one time with them.

KaLynn ("MiMi") said...

It gets even harder when they are grown! Sounds like you take advantage of every minute you can! Thumbs up to you!

Amy said...

As they get older, those moments are even harder to come by. I, like you, cherish the moments here and there that I get with my boys. Few and far between as they have become.

Tara R. said...

I treasure those moments with my kids now that they are so much older... and they are fewer and far between.

Congrats on completing NaBloPoMo. You done good!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I see these days ahead for us...this is a great reminder to soak up the moments we do have, and grab them where we can.

Julie said...

Feel like I am finally coming out of a fog and found a comment from you on my blog. A funny one :) so I thought Id drop by. It is so hard to find that one on one time even when they are young. So glad that your 15 year old likes to be with you. :)

Nezzy said...

Take it from an old gal, ya just gotta grab those moments and make some memories every chance ya can! :o)

I just wanted to thank ya for your visit and hoppin' on my blog. I sure hope ya'll enjoy the ride! :o)

God bless and in the words of that crazy old Granny Clampett, "ya'll come back now...ya hear???"

Jump over for my giveaway! :o)

Helene said...

As a mother of 4 kids, I know how difficult it can be to get that one-on-one time. You gotta take it where you can get it!!!

blueviolet said...

Those moments are completely precious. I'm glad you recognize the opportunities when they come up and seize them like you do.

Also, when you mentioned how you were stroking Elayna's hair and head, I remembered that it's something I do for my own daughter and that my mom did for me...a cherished memory.

Julie said...

The first thing I have to say is that I LOVE your blog design. The next thing I have to say is that I love the fonts on your blog. Now, with that out of the way, this post touched me. Those moments are so few and far between. It makes me sad to think that they are growing up so fast. =(

Katertot said...

They're going to look back and remember these moments too!

<3

Kat said...

This post just makes me so emotional. You are so right. So wise. It really comes down to finding joy in your family and I have been struggling with that the last few weeks. I am ashamed to even admit that. Just recently I have found the joy again. And it really is in those small moments. Just watching your kids personalities and enjoying them. It really is a joy. And that one on one time, however brief, is so important. Thank you for this post. Gorgeous. :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Sounds like you have had some very special moments with each one, that is awesome. I hope they continue to happen often.

Way to go on posting everyday in February!