Let's Raise Some Real Men

Yesterday, I was reminded yet again of how lucky I am to be married to my sweet husband.

I didn't feel well and spent almost the whole day in bed. He took care of the kids, and me.
In fact, at one point, I got up and he said "What do you need, honey? I'll get it for you." And I said, "I have to pee." I really think he would have done that for me, if he could, bless his heart.

Anyway. When I did get up, I was fortunate enough to catch the episode of 16 & Pregnant featuring Chelsea and Asswipe Adam. Chelsea and Adam got pregnant while they were juniors in high school. I emphasize "and Adam" not to be cutesie, but to stress that it takes two, and she did not get pregnant alone. However, she did pretty much everything else on her own. He even made a point to remind her that, while she couldn't do the typical things that high school seniors do, he could still do whatever he wanted. Ha, ha, ha.

Adam made a bad impression on me early on, calling his pregnant girlfriend "dumb" and "stupid" and never really being around. He did manage to arrive for the 5 week premature delivery of his daughter, but when she finally came home from the hospital, he was too busy to be there. Also, when his 5 week old preemie infant had RSV and had to go to the doctor in the snow, he was, again, too busy. He was either hunting or working on his car.

So, when the girlfriend finally called him on some of this, he blew up (via text message) and called her a "fat stretch mark bitch", and told her to get the papers drawn up so that he could "sign off on that mistake".

Did you catch that?
He called the mother of his baby a "fat stretch mark bitch", and called his daughter a "mistake".

I can repeat that again if you want, because hours later, it's still running through my head.

I wanted to jump through the screen and ring his neck! If that were my son - who is a senior in high school himself right now - I would NOT permit him to act that way. First of all, I firmly believe that he would never even think of acting that way in a million years. Young or not, if he became a father, I believe he would step up to the plate. He has not been raised to be an irresponsible little prick. But IF he did lose his mind and behave that way, I would absolutely lose my SHIT on him!

Then, my son was telling me about an adult couple he knows. The mom is not working right now, and the dad is, frankly, a male chauvinist pig. Mom didn't have dinner started at 4pm today. The horror! So Dad informed the kids ("jokingly") that they were going to get a new mom, who had a job and who would cook their dinner on time.
As if anyone else would put up with his sorry ass! He also told the Mom that she WOULD have a job by next week. Period.

So I looked at my husband and said, "Well honey, I am not working right now, and I didn't cook dinner at all - in fact, I have been in bed all day. So when is your new wife coming? Oh wait, I forgot - YOU are not a douchebag!"

How, and why, are men still being raised this way in this day and time, in America? Why do they walk upright?? And why are women still putting up with this crap?

Why aren't boys being raised to treat women with respect, and be responsible for their own actions?

Not only is it wrong to treat women like crap, but it's STUPID. It's a lesson my husband apparently figured out early in life, or at least shortly before meeting me. If you treat a woman well, she will reward you. Your life will be good. If you take care of her and worship her like the Goddess she is, you will be treated very well. Usually, in the kitchen and/or bedroom. I'm just saying.

If you treat a woman badly, what motivation does she have for making you happy? This generally translates to no nookie, and no cookie. Your life will pretty much suck.

You get what you give. And women, if we put up with being treated badly by men, we're just allowing it to perpetuate. Stand up, and teach your boys how to be men! You will be doing them a favor.


Tammie said...


i work my ass off trying to raise my son to be the type of person i'll want to be around in 10-20 years. right now, at 12, he seems to have a tendency to veer into douchebagery. not acceptable.

i see far too many moms treating their boys like little kings though. it makes me ill because i know that in a few years that boy is going to be thinking that the sun rises and sets on his ass and he'll be treating women like crap.

and i agree with you-i'd like to think that my son wouldnt act as the kid in the show did, but if he did, there would definitely be some hell to pay.

Amanda said...

I remember that episode! And it literally MADE ME SICK! I too am so beyond fortunate to be married to the man I'm married to. Watching 16 & Pregnant episodes reminds me of that a lot. My heart breaks so much for the girls who don't have a wonderful guy to take care of them and their children.

JP said...

My... wife's stepsister's husband... whatever that makes him to me... well he's pretty much a pig.

We were sitting around at the monthly family gathering and his wife had just had a baby and he made some comment like "Yeah I was gonna ask if the doctor could put an extra stitch or two while he was down there..." WUT?

Let me get this straight... your wife just shot a bowling ball out her hooha and you're whining cuz it's too loose?

We already didn't have any respect for him but that pushed it to the level of complete dislike.

Seizing My Day said...

It is very sad when you see women whom you love putting up with behavior like that.... and then their daughters follow their example... *sigh* At age 8 my son is a gentleman... sweet, kind, sharing... my goal is to keep him that way! I think I have a good chance since his daddy is still like that! ;)

♥ Kathy said...

You got it just right girlfriend!! My hubby calls me his princess & treats me like one 99.99999% of the time. When he forgets & reverts back to his caveman self, I remind him in not so pretty words & he straightens right up LOL

C said...

i LOVE the no nookie, no cookie... lmao..
sadly, i agree with you on everything. men can be such assholes. i cant be around guys like that and i lose respect for the gal... i have known many and its disgusting.. i too want to kill them.. or at least treat them the same way... they are usually raised like that cuz the testicle doesnt fall far from the tree.. i have tried talking till i'm blue in the face to help my ex friends stand up for themselves, but after awhile when i see it going in one ear and out the next, and with all i have invested, AND they tell the guy all that was said therefore he's acting worse in front of me.. i got tired of it and have no patience for it anymore. and its no ones fault, its just me, i only have so much energy and i cant waste it on deaf ears any more. its very sad... i will always try once or twice but when they say ok, i'll change my situation but dont, then theres nuttin i can do... and i realize it will take more than i can do to help them.

i prolly sound like a bitch, but i am not, it just has hurt too much to try to change or help those who wont help themselves. but if one of my boys [i have 3] ever acted like that they would be answering to one pissed off mama and it wouldnt be pretty.. i too, have not raised them to be rednecked morons..

April said...

You make a very good point! That show drives me bananas, but for some reason, I can't stop watching it! There's just no sense of morals or values, whatsoever! Mind boggling, isn't it?

diane rene said...

I cannot watch shows like that for that very reason - I get angry over it for hours ... days even. and the fact that they show this on tv just gives other guys the idea that it's okay.

I do have to add, I had my oldest daughter at 18. the sperm donor called me when she was about 2 and told me that he knew "where WE went wrong. WE were just too young. if WE had waited a couple of years, WE would have been more responsible to handle a baby".

of course, WE were no longer together because HE still wanted to party and moved back home (1500 miles away) and SHE (or me) grew up and raised a baby.

funny how WE went wrong, isn't it?

I don't get where the boys (because they sure as heck ain't men) get the idea that this kind of thing is acceptable. my hubby has a saying, "if the queen ain't happy, the kingdom ain't happy" ... so true ;0)

Tara R. said...

I can't watch that show, it makes me so mad.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I don't know where it comes from. It does make me angry too. My son was not raised that way and I am so proud of him. My husband has learned to shut his month!! His mother spoiled him rotten, did everything for him and I don't.

Brandy@YDK said...

I can't imagine someone acting like that. but you are right - my son will not. no responsibility for their actions.

Jen said...

I have got to start watching that show. If that were my son he would be smacked into tomorrow and then back into yesterday so we could reteach him how to be a human being. That poor woman and her baby. I hope he did sign off so they never have to deal with him again.

shortmama said...

Amen Sista!! I hate guys like that and I just wonder what horror their parents must feel seeing that behavior...or is it because of their parents that they act like that?!

Myya said...

Amen Sista! I watch that show too... I just can't help it. Although almost always it completely pisses me off the way that the teens act.

Erin said...

OMG THIS is awesome! I don't watch that show for just that reason.

And one thing I do have to say, I will NEVER allow my boys to treat a woman that way, that she was made to be put on this earth to be his beck and call girl.

But there are women out there that ALLOW this kind of behavior! I WAS one. I allowed my ex husband to tell me that I was useless and that he was the breadwinner in the family and if it weren't for him I would be lost, and THAT contributes to that type of behavior. His daughter watched him treat me that way and she grew up thinking that was okay.

Women need to stand up for themselves and tell the other half that they are every bit as important in every way....or leave. Because in reality it's the MEN that would be lost not the women!

I was better off without THAT kind of treatment, and I will NOT allow it from my husband, but he's much to awesome and he knows better than to treat me that way!

Ahem :::Stepping off my soap box:::
I hope you are feeling better! =)

Kirby3131 said...

Well said! Bravo!

Kristin - The Goat

Mrs4444 said...

Sadly, as long as there are jerks raising daughters, we will have young women with standards low enough to be attracted to jerks that they subconsciously believe they will be able to change, with enough love. The thought of sleeping with such a creep is unthinkable to me today, but back in the day (before therapy) I might have. I'm guessing he knows how to be charming when he wants some.

Marla said...

Our culture is sinking fast. My girls would never tolerate a man like these because they have a father that truly loves and respects their mother. My boys would never treat a woman like that because they always knew disrespecting a woman would mean a slow and painful death provided by their parents. Where are the parents of our kids these days?

qandlequeen said...

Our sons have been raised to treat all people decently and to respect a strong woman. Our future daughters-in-law will never know this type of crap. It is amazing, though, the number of young men who still think it's okay to behave like this.