12.15.2010

Desperado




*Warning: This is a downer post. Proceed at your own risk.*

November 24th, 2010, was an anniversary, but not the kind that you celebrate.

It was the two year anniversary of the suicide death of a friend.

He wasn't a "Junior", but for some odd reason, that was his nickname for many years.
He was a friend of my ex-husband's, and that's how I met him, twenty-something years ago.
He was the kind of person who would do anything for a friend. He hung out at our house, played with our kids, and ate dinner with us countless times. When my husband was out of town for work, I could always call him when I needed help.

Junior had a few girlfriends throughout the years, but none who stuck around for long. I think that's one reason that the Eagles song, Desperado, always reminded me of him:

"You better let somebody love you.....before it's too late."

Even after my ex-husband and I split up, Junior helped me out. He helped me move, and later moved my kids' outdoor play equipment to our new home. He was just that kind of guy who you knew would help you out when you needed him.

In time, I lost touch with him. He had moved to St Augustine.

In some ways I was surprised to hear of his death, but in some ways, I wasn't. Junior always seemed haunted. He always had a smile and an easy laugh, but behind all that, it wasn't hard to tell that he wasn't a happy person. And his life hadn't been an easy one.

I have no idea what actually pushed him to take his own life. The story I heard (third- or fourth-hand) was that he was sitting with his girlfriend watching TV, then got up and walked into another room, and shot himself. He was 42 years old.
I can only hope, and pray, that he has found peace now.


Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger.
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home.
And freedom, ohhhh freedom, well, that's just some people talkin'...
Your prison is walking through this world all alone.





8 comments:

Sarah said...

very sad. It's always difficult to try and understand what is going through their minds when someone takes their own life. Very, very sad.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) Suicide leaves so many unanswered questions, I am so sorry for your loss. Great song by the Eagles.

Shell said...

I got the chills reading this! We never know what someone is going through.

diane rene said...

so sad :( I am sorry for an anniversary like this one - my thoughts are with you

Jen (emeraldsunshine.org) said...

This was my favorite song as a child.

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. My surrogate father slash friend died of a heart attack seven years ago. I'll never forget him and in November of every year I get a little down.

Tara R. said...

I am so sorry about your friend.

Kirby3131 said...

What an awful situation. I have prayed for many a person who has that look about them - haunted you said. That's it.

Kristin - THe Goat

Myya said...

So sad. I just couldn't imagine ever being to that point. I hope that he has found his happiness.