11.19.2008

Giving Myself a Pass

I work pretty hard. I work at least 40 hours per week at my job. And of course, as a Mom I'm on call 24/7. As most of you know, I'm a night shifter. I basically just do the reverse of most moms; I work while my kids sleep, and sleep while my kids are in school. I pick them up when school gets out, and help them with their homework, fix snacks...all that good stuff. I do the laundry and take care of the pets, and all of the household duties. If I don't get everything done that I want to on any given day, I feel guilty and inadequate. If I give in and take a nap, I really feel like a slacker.

But no more! On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I work 12-hour shifts. I go in at 7pm and work until 7am. I chose this schedule because it works out better for the family. But it's not easy, working those 12-hour shifts back to back, especially since the little kids get out of school early on Wednesdays. Then, before I can start to relax, it's time to pick up the Ladybug. My Wednesdays are busy, and it's very hard to get anything accomplished. And every week, I stress out about it.

But I've decided to give myself a pass. Every Wednesday, I'm taking the day off from household duties. I'll still do the basics, of course. I'm not going to starve anyone or leave the kids on their own with homework. But I'm not doing laundry, I'm not vacuuming, I'm not mopping. I AM going to take a much-needed nap on the couch while the kids play in the same room. I'm not going to make dinner; J is willing and able to whip up something simple for himself and the kids.
I'm going to take care of myself, and I'm going to rest.

And best of all, I'm NOT going to feel guilty about it!

I need this one day 'off' for my sanity, health, and well-being. It's better for the family, too, because I'm not stressed out and irritable. I've given myself a pass!

And you know what? I think you should do the same thing.
Pick a day, any day. There doesn't have to be a reason. Give yourself the day off of dusting and scrubbing toilets. Sit down and play with your kids. Read a book. Watch what you want on TV. Call a friend. Blog. Twitter. Make something easy for supper, or order pizza.

And most importantly...don't feel guilty! You deserve a break.

Take my pass!

And pass it along to someone you know who also deserves a guilt-free pass.


36 comments:

Swirl Girl said...

any day that ends in 'ay' every other month....

♥ Becky ♥ said...

You totally deserve it♥!!!!!!! I don't know that I could do that at all. But I know that if I had to I would. I take every other weekend off, it's when my kids are at their Dad's house and it's all about me time. I have no reason to complain!!! ☺

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

You do deserve a pass! Man, the schedule is brutal. My husband worked overnight, and it's not just the hours. Working overnight takes it out of you.

I give myself lots of passes and I don't feel guilty about it. I've gotten very good at that. ;-)

MoziEsmé said...

Way to go! I just might take you up on the pass - it sounds wonderful! After we get through the packing and moving and finishing up jobs part, that is...

Love that kitty photo, btw!

Melissa said...

Monday mornings are my pass time. Weekends are so crazy in this house it's really the only time I can rest. Makes Mondays almost tolerable.

Far From Perfect said...

I have ni idea how you manage that? I do take a snap most days-4 to about 4:30. I use to eat something sweet or a diet coke to keep me going. Now I give in to my body and rest...

Lauren said...

Was there ever a real question about deserving some time for yourself? Geeze this is something I personally will never understand. Here's where my brain goes: why was she doing all that housework anyway...doesn't she have a husband? Why isn't he doing at least half the work since she works ft and he works ft. Hmmm But that's just me.

Kori said...

Amen sister. You so deserve to haev a pass.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Lauren - I guess I did make it sound like hubby is doing nothing, but that's totally not the case here. He does more than his share, including taking care of my kids 2 nights a week plus getting them ready for school every morning...MY kids, not his. He's their stepdad but does far more for them than many dads I know.
This post is about me taking a break from doing the things that I feel I should be doing. Nobody else cares if I do it or not, and hubby would gladly do it every night if I wanted him to.

Kel said...

I think a day off is crucial - or in my case I end up taking a few days off...eventually I get to a point when I'm just worn out and I stop making big meals and the house looks a little crazy, but then after a much needed rest, I get back on the wagon things go back to normal. Hopefully your day off will work wonders for your sanity...I know it does for mine!
~K

Mamahut said...

Good for you!

Jo-Jo said...

Good for you!

Kimmylyn said...

You sure do need that pass..how do you even function?? :)

Ashley said...

uh - yea - I'd say you definitely deserve that pass.

Kat said...

Okay, wait. Are you telling me that you scrub the toliets EVERY DAY??? Wow. I'm impressed.

And yes. You DEFINITELY deserve a day off of house cleaning. Great idea!

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Good for you!! It sounds like a long deserved rule!

Tara R. said...

You go girl! NO guilt! I love the badge. I might have to steal that one from you.

Kellan said...

Good for you! You have it a lot rougher than I do - I'm glad you are taking some time to yourself and not going to work so hard. That photo is too cute!!

Take care and don't work too hard - Kellan

Casey's trio said...

Good for you! Every mom deserves a pass:)

dddiva said...

Great post- I think it is some kind of genetic thing that we expect so much more of ourselves than anyone else does.
Good idea, the free pass.
Enjoy your quality time with you. :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Momisodes said...

Dude, you SO deserve it. And probably a whole other day with it.

I worked 7pm-7am for many years pre-motherhood, and it was tough. You definitely deserve your day...and some pampering :)

WheresMyAngels said...

I give myself alot of those passes because many of my days are 16 hours, but when they aren't then I do it. But it is suppose to be my husbands job to do most of it, since he is at home 5 days a week. Course, lately, it has been me.

I think anything over 10 hours, you should pat your self on the back and take the rest of the day off! lol

John Deere Mom said...

Good for you!!! I think every mom should get a day off throughout the week. That's awesome!

John Deere Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Girl you take that pass!!! You deserve it!

JEN said...

I agree with you. I don't know why it's so hard for women to take a day off and not feel guilty. I need to take your advice. Thanks for helping me by helping yourself.

Jen

Tammie said...

why do we as moms insist on overextending ourselves constantly and then feel guilty if we dont accomplish 800 things in a day?

im trying to slow down a bit and not worry about all the "stuff" i should be doing. its hard though.

A Buns Life said...

You totally deserve a pass!! I usually take Wednesday or Thursday as well!! I go into work TWTH, (work from home MF) and by the time I pick up both kids and get home, it is almost 6:00. Unless I already have something in the works, dinner is not gong to be gourmet let me tell you. There is usually a load of laundry or two to finish up, homework to do and baths to be had.....so one of those nights I just have to chill and enjoy the kids without all the rush, rush rush. We all seem to do better with a pass. :)

mrsbear said...

Wow, I don't know how you do it. I stay home and I can't fit in everything I want to on a daily basis. The day off is a great idea, we all deserve one, now if I can just convince everyone else in the house. ;-)

Aubrey said...

Good for you!
I think we inherit this crazy gene once we become mommies. You are right! We all need to set some "me" time aside every once in awhile! Thanks for reminding me!

Tonjia said...

I know just what you mean. I left night shift 2 weeks ago, and am realizing that working days has really given me my life back.

you deserve a day off and I am glad you are taking it!

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Good for you! You can't take care of everyone well if you don't take care of yourself. I'm a working Mom, too, and I know what you mean. It's really a challenge to balance life, so Sunday is my rest day. No chores! I'm happy you've picked Wednesday as your Me-day:-)

anymommy said...

You do deserve a pass! Take it and enjoy it. I adore that last kitty picture.

Christine said...

Good for you. I'm tempted but I do not thinkit would fly well over here.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

oh, I need this pass - just if my brain will accept it!

Rhea said...

That picture is perfect for this post. lol I think it's definitely important you take a ME day. It sounds like you keep up a busy schedule with SO much going on.