For the past approximately 20 years, I have not chewed gum.
I have TMJ disorder, and for years, it hurt to chew gum. Like, major pain, severe headache lasting throughout the following day, and hurting my entire skull. Throbbing. So, I had to finally call it quits. Gum and I, we broke up.
And then. Just a few weeks ago, I had a little night out. Maybe I had a little to drink. Maybe I had a lot to drink. Who's counting? And when the night was wrapping up, someone offered me a piece of gum. Which I think most of us realize is nice person code for "You got some major funky breath going on." And somehow, my soggy inebriated brain thought that sounded like a great idea. So I took a stick of gum, and Oh.My.God. It was like an orgasm in my mouth. I had no idea how much I had missed Gum. I had no idea how amazing the new flavors of gum tasted. I had no idea what I'd been missing in all these years!
And here's the most amazing part: I did not get a headache.
And maybe you know by now that I have an itsy-bitsy bit of OCD, and I tend to obsess on things. It's not addiction, exactly. It's just obsession. Harmless little obsession. *cue Psycho music*
So, that's what's up with me and gum now. It doesn't give me a headache any more. I don't know why, but I'm not questioning Gum. I am obsessed. I am a gum fiend. I chew gum, I buy gum, I search for gum. I ask for gum. I smack gum and I pop gum. I chew like a cow. I am totally obnoxious. See, what I had forgotten about gum is that for some weird reason, chewing gum makes me happy. It puts me in a better mood. Who needs Prozac? I have spearmint Extra, baby.
Which leads me to the burning question on my mind this Monday morning.
Do you have any gum?