4.20.2011

A Phone Call I Won't Forget

Many of you know the back story with my stepson, Andrew.
His biological mother has never been a stable presence in his life.
Then, she basically disappeared for about a year and a half. We didn't know where she was or how to contact her.
Andrew was adamant that he did not want to see or speak to her.
(there is a whole lot more to this story, but for many reasons, I'm not going to post it all here.)

Anyway, at the end of last year, we started getting letters from an attorney representing Bio Mom (a.k.a. BM). They demanded that we bring Andrew to BM for a weekend visitation. This, after him not seeing her or talking to her for nearly two years. Clearly, we did not jump at the chance to do that, as neither we nor Andrew's psychiatrist felt that it was in Andrew's best interest.

So, we now have an attorney representing us. We've had a few meetings, and then today was the Preliminary Hearing in front of a judge. It was a one-hour hearing in the judge's chambers. Her attorney requested this; it was to be a first step towards her officially getting visitation set up (and we were trying to keep that from happening). Both BM and John were required to attend. The lawyer said that I would not be able to go back to the judge's chambers, so I stayed home with the kids. As the time for the hearing to end neared, I was on pins and needles waiting.

And then, I got the phone call.
I ran outside and John said, "Are you ready for this?"
And I said "Yeah, yeah, TELL ME!"
And he said........"BM did not show up."

That's right. For months she has pushed this issue. Blamed us for her lack of involvement in her son's life. All she wanted was a relationship with her son. Etc............
And she couldn't even be bothered to show up.
Her attorney had been calling her all day. No answer. None of us have any idea where she is or why she didn't come.
But needless to say, that doesn't exactly help her case.

And that is most definitely one phone call I will NOT soon forget!




{Joining in with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop ~ A Phone Call I Won't Forget}








45 comments:

Gina said...

Wow is all that I can say!! you didn't mention how old your son is? Is he old enough to make the decision he wants nothing to do with BM?a

Her case just (so to say went out the window) (I've been in a similar situation) I hope everything comes out the way you all want...
And if BM is not stable enough to show up for court who would want her around otherwise.

You got my support!!
Blessings
Gina

Tara R. said...

Is it bad that I'm doing a little Happy Dance for you all? Wow... that is incredible.

Not a Perfect Mom said...

okay...how sad is this?
I obviously agree with you that Andrew should does need his BM in his life right now...
but really? what kind of mother does this?
It really bothers me...

Gina said...

yes I would like to know how to enable the email :) thank you for stopping by.

Keeping you in my prayers
Gina

ChiTown Girl said...

Is it wrong that I want to congratulate you on this? Screw it - Congratulations!!!!

Amy said...

I am SOOOOO happy for y'all!

Tammie said...

wow.

well this is good news for all of you. (its sad because hey, thats his mom) but still this kind of behaviour was expected. congrats to you and hugs to andrew. :)

diane rene said...

doin the happy dance :)

Kristin - The Goat said...

BM is just being herself and isn't it great that she chose to do this on a very important day. Wow. I'm so happy for you all. Nothing shines brighter than the truth!

Erin said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so amazing!! Let's hope she done with all this foolishness, and can let him not dread having to deal with her and just live his life and be happy!

So happy for you guys!!!

Mama Wants This said...

That was a good phone call. And a good post.

Jessica said...

I hope she stays away for good. I don't understand her fighting to see him and then not showing up.

shortmama said...

Im so happy she didnt show up! Like you said...doesnt help her case!

Elena said...

Why did she start fighting if she wasn't even going to show up? That's terrible.

Casey said...

All I can say is what a blessing it is that he has you in his life.

Melissa said...

First time here, I'm visiting from Mama Kat's. Andrew is really lucky to have you!

CJ said...

I don't understand people like ---first abandoning her son, then expecting to get parental rights, then not showing up. I hope she stays away.

(After I left my first husband and started dating again, one of my steadfast rules was that if I found out a divorced man was having nothing to do with his children ---by choice ---I dropped him immediately. No excuse was good enough.)

Please visit my story about a phone call I won't forget ---a much sadder one than yours: http://proartz.blogspot.com/2011/04/like-wind.html

Dumb Mom said...

I never understand people who don't show up for court proceedings. Of any sort. Personally I fear the law enough to know that if I'm being talked about in court I should probably make an effort to be there to hear about it! But, good news for you guys. At least it supports your claim. It sucks that she's such a sucky human that she can't even make an effort to be a part of her sons life, but I guess everyone can't be Mom Awesome!

Karen V. said...

That will definitely help you, real mama! This is great news. You and I know some of the same people but this is my first visit here! ((Hugs)) I'll be back to check out more when I'm not doing this at 3 a.m. my time!! :)

Sherrismiles said...

Sometimes...situations just work themselves out. Yes, the fact that she didn't bother to even show up certainly doesn't help her case at all. If she loved that child AT ALL...she would understand he is in a better place and stop disrupting his life. Sometimes, good parenting is knowing when you aren't able to parent!

God bless and Happy Easter to you and yours my online friend :)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am glad it worked out. I was a little worried at the beginning of the post. It is so wonderful that he has you.

thepsychobabble said...

I'm glad it worked out. She pretty much shot herself in the foot, in regards to future issues, too.

C said...

does BM stand for bowel movement? jus askin....

i am glad this is turning out this way. and so glad he has your love. you are his real mama...

Jenna said...

that would be a memorable phone call, and clearly it did not help her case. Im sorry you had/have to deal with that!

Tettelestai said...

excellent phone call!! that is good news, i hope the judge seriously considers this. maybe her lawyer can just drop the case??

brainella said...

Life is good. I'm so happy for ALL of you. I hope she has finally decided to put Andrew first. :)

April said...

I am totally speechless! You know, I believe that things work out as they were meant to be. Sounds like this was all part of a greater plan from the man upstairs.

Brandy@YDK said...

i think that's great news. i hope this means she's done.

Crystal said...

I am SO glad she didn't show up...I was starting to get all upset!! I hope this weighs HEAVILY on the judges decision. I'm here from Mama Kat's.

Robin said...

My first thought was YES!! Good. And good for you for sticking up for Andrew. That sounds totally unfair to him.

Helene said...

You know, for someone like her, it seems like she gets caught up in the drama of it all but really doesn't want the outcome she's asking for.

My BIL's ex used to do this every 2 years or so. She'd breeze back in to my niece's life and get everyone all riled up and get the courts involved. In the end, she'd never show up to the hearings. Such a waste of time, money and emotional energy.

Melani said...

Wow! Not sure what to say...except I hope she stops doing this to him. Kids always seem to have to pay the price for adults who don't do the right thing for the kids.

Gina said...

Please Stop by my page I want to give you the stylish blogger award :)I hope your week is going great
Blessings
Gina

Kat said...

In front of the judge to yet. Perfect!!!!! Haha! Stupid woman. She certainly knows how to make the case against herself.
I'm so happy for y'all!

Lady Estrogen said...

Wow - some people!!
I LOVE how every time I read BM I thought of poop. xo

amygrew said...

How can people do that! He is pretty luck y to have 2 stable parents in his life. Geez!

Shell said...

I'm just shaking my head. To not show up? What a mess she must be!

myevil3yearold said...

I am so happy for you but I am a little sad too.

Elaine A. said...

Is this what they call poetic justice? Kinda?

She must be pretty screwed up to not show up after all that. I just feel really sorry for her and what she's missing out on in her sons life by not having it together. Sadly, that's just how some people are.

I hope this makes it easier for you all to not have to deal with her though.

Myya said...

After I read this all I could do was think about how happy I am for Andrew. What a weight off of his shoulders. He definitely needs more time to heal before he has to face her. YAY!!!!!!

Misfit Mommy said...

Thank goodness you don't have to deal with that kind of stress anymore! Still, it's gotta be hard on the little guy...

At first, I thought that was going in a whole different direction #trickery! :-)

Mrs4444 said...

GOOD!

A phone call I will never forget is the one I got from Mr.4444, telling me that his dad had died (suddenly, of a massive heart attack). I'm certain I'll never forget it.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

This brought me to tears, that is great news. I pray they don't give her any more chances to prove herself.

Issas Crazy World said...

Sigh. That's just so wrong. I am thrilled for you guys though.

michelle said...

OMG!!! my story about my step son and his BM is pretty much the same. One differance is my step sons BM is a drucg addict. Now that she the BM didn't show up for court, she lost all visitaion rights. my husband and i also have a no contact order. However, the problem now is: My step son is acting up. He is fighting with kids at school, and most of all, really emotional. To top it all off, he won't allow my husband and i to sit next to each other. Iam a newly wed. What can i do? Should i have my step son see a counselor? Possibly a physciatrist?
Please any one help.
Concerened military step mom.