Letters to Someone

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Every Thursday, my friend ShortMama does a feature called Letters to Someone. I love me some ShortMama, her blog is absolutely adorable! Be sure you check out the wonderful Family of Shorts, you'll be glad you did.
This is my first time participating in Letters to Someone. I've always thought it was a great idea and this week I discovered that I have a lot to say!

Dear One-Upper,
For every story I tell, you have one more elaborate, more bloody, more painful...you get the idea. It's extremely annoying. My youngest children do this, but they are...well...children. You are grown. You are annoying. Nobody likes a one-upper. Find a new hobby!


Dear Know-It-All,

You are amazing. You know everything to know about every subject known to mankind. You have a college degree in...oh wait, nothing. A BS in BS, maybe. But astoundingly, you have a wealth of knowledge on every topic. You know far more than doctors, teachers, pretty much any so-called expert in any field. I have a funny feeling that you will have a rude awakening one of these days though!


Dear "You Don't Understand",

For every trial you go through, I don't understand. I have never felt what you feel, endured what you've endured. I.do.not.understand. I haven't been there. I don't understand how you feel because you can't sign your 5 year old daughter up for team sports. How could I understand? My daughters are 8 and 13 year old and just now playing team sports for the first time ever. But clearly, I can't imagine how you feel. I don't understand how it feels to have money worries. How could I? My husband was out of work for a month this summer, but oh no, money worries are a mystery to me. I simply do not understand!


Dear Judgy McJudgerson,
You are my 'favorite' of all. Heh. You have something to say about everything. Nothing certain people do is good enough in your eyes. No matter the situation, you have a snide remark. A put-down. You do it better, faster, prettier, and nobody else can measure up. What you don't realize though....is that nobody cares!



Dear All Of the Above,

You? Suck. Nobody likes you. I think it's time to step back and take a good look at yourself...and maybe make some changes. Because you? Are kind of a jerk.

Over it!


Tammie said...

i think we know a lot of the same people.


I think I know these people and they LIVE IN MY HOUSE!

Mrs Montoya said...

I'm stopping in from Shortmamas's and love your letters. I may have to steal the "BS in BS" phrase. Too perfect for so many special people in my life. Have a good day!!

shortmama said...

I think some of those people are in my "school organization"

Carrin said...

Took the words right out of my mouth!

Tater Tot Mom said...

You've single handedly named every one of my pet peeves in one post!

I hate the one-uppsers especially and unfortunately have some in my family that just drive me crazy!

Tara R. said...

We definitely know some of the same people. I love this little 'love' notes.

Allyson said...

wow, you are totally describing my coworkers!! ha ha

Rocksee said...

Dear Mean Ole Man-

Look, I can't help it that my voice is loud on this phone. The phone is turned up high. You were rude to me and what did you want me to do whisper to you?

I'm just trying to help and all you could do is be mean.

Telephone Answer Girl

Dawn said...

Nice. Very nice. I think you ousted every pet peeve of mine.

Twisted Fencepost said...

Great post!
And DITTO to them all!!

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Funny!!! Love this post, and I do know several of the folks in your life, I believe! ♥

Helene said...

It's a small world, isn't it? I think I know some of the same people!

Loved these letters...you always make me laugh!

The picture of "George Costanza" at the end sums it up perfectly!

Melissa said...

This? Was awesome. Thanks for the chuckle. I really needed it. :)

Unknown Mami said...

My husband and I have been talkin' about the Jerk Store all week.

Kirby3131 said...

I married "Know-it-all." ugh. I've tried to have conversations with the rest of them. It is truly annoying.

Mrs4444 said...

Feels good to unload sometimes, doesn't it? I hope I'm not one of these people...