1.23.2013

Bracing Myself...


Hunter's biological father was never a part of his life.  He left his mother when Hunter was just a baby.
Hunter's mother is one of the sweetest people you could ever want to meet.
She is not, and never was, a disciplinarian.
When Hunter was a (rowdy) teenager, his mother married his stepfather.  Stepdad, Mr. J, was a cop.  Very strict.
It was like fire and gasoline.  You can imagine, I'm sure, the conflicts that ensued.  Suffice it to say, it was a volatile relationship.
But things changed.  Hunter grew up.  He put his parents through hell for years, but as he matured and settled down, things got better.  It took a long time, but now, they are very close.  Mr. J is a WONDERFUL man.    Mr. J has been incredibly welcoming to me and my children and is very happy to have us in their lives.  Not only does he call Hunter "son", but he even introduces him as his SON - not stepson.  He is very proud of him and the man he has become.  It sometimes makes me tear up to see the way they are now.

And now, Mr. J is dying.

He was diagnosed with cancer several years ago.  He has undergone chemo, radiation, and who knows what all other treatments.  He has four grandsons (including Hunter's son) and I believe he has endured all of this for them.  He adores them and wants to see them grow up.
But it seems that is not going to happen.
The treatments just aren't helping any more, and in the last few weeks he's been going downhill quickly.
Today, they arranged hospice care.
Now of course, Hospice doesn't stamp an expiration date on someone.   People can be under hospice care for a very long time; I know someone who was under hospice care for over a year.
But truthfully, I don't see that happening here.  He hasn't eaten in well over a week.  He can't walk, and falls when he tries.  He mostly stays in bed.  He's fading quickly.
It's heartbreaking.  Mrs. J has a wonderful support system but still - she will be lost without him.

Suddenly cancer is really rearing its ugly head in our lives, and it's terrifying.

My friend's son who is also my daughter's ex-boyfriend has lymphoma.  He's 17.
Another family friend, a very young teen girl, just had a mole removed that was melanoma.
Another family friend, who already beat cancer once, has cancer again, this time in his liver and colon.  He's 45.
And the list goes on.
It makes me mad.  And scared.  And sad.

There are hard times coming for people that I dearly love.  It's time to for me to be there, to support them and help them in any way that I can.  I hate to see people that I love, in so much pain.
Bracing myself.....




7 comments:

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Sending hugs and prayers. As you know, just went through this with my Grammy and it's so, so hard. Glad he has you for support.

Kat said...

Flipping C word. I don't say Hate often but I really HATE that C word. I'm so sick of hearing the C word. I wish I could annihilate the stupid C word.

I'm so sorry those close to you are suffering. Praying for Hunter's dad, the rest of his family, and all those suffering.

Shell said...

So sorry to hear this. Cancer is awful. :(

Angie said...

I HATE cancer too. We lost my Grandpa to lung cancer 2 year ago. So many people I know have passed of cancer or are battling cancer as we speak. It's a HORRIBLE disease.

Praying for your family. Such a hard time for all you.

Amy said...

I am so sorry to hear about all this. It makes me want to work that much harder in my upcoming fundraising campaign with LLS. I am praying for the day we can cure these awful cancers.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry to hear about all the sorrow that is going on in your life. Sending my prayers and ((HUGS)) to you. I will also keep each person in my prayers. Take care.

Jenny @ flutterbyechronicles said...

Sending you a big hug and lots of prayers.

I am right there with you. One of my Great Aunts just went into hospice and the other one is not to far behind. I also have a friend battling cervical cancer, a Aunt who just had a possible heart attack and a cousin in the hospital with blood clots around his pacemaker. This week has been a doozy to say the least. It saddens me to see them all suffering. I just want to take all the pain away.