10.23.2012

Priorities.

I recently read a blog post that has really been weighing heavily on my mind.
It was about 'not having time' for the people in your life.
And 'being too busy' for your friends and loved ones.
And what that boils down to is really a matter of priorities.
We make time for the things that we consider to be important.
I don't mean every day.  But if someone is important enough for you - you WILL find time in your life for that person.
And when you keep reaching out to someone who continually shuts you out - because they are too busy or don't have time - you have to finally accept the fact that you are simply NOT a priority to that person.  No matter how much you love them.  No matter that you would drop anything to be there if they needed you.
And it hurts.
But there comes a time when you just stop.  You stop making offers because you know they will be rejected.  You stop making plans because you know they will be cancelled.  You accept that you will just be a bystander, standing at the outskirts of their lives.  Watching and occasionally allowed in but not truly a part of it.  Because you are NOT a priority.
You don't have to like it, but you do have to accept it.
It is what it is.  Concentrate on YOUR priorities.  And move on........


17 comments:

Lori said...

I hear ya! It's a slap in the face when the reality hits. Been there too many times. And then when you hear these same people are doing things for someone else, the same thing you asked or talked about, it's another slap. My cheeks hurt.

ChiTown Girl said...

Amen, Sista!

Tami said...

Why do people feel like it's important to be in a circle of people that are selfishly not returning the friendship. It's just like high school and longing to be with the 'popular' crowd. After high school, it doesn't seem as important any more. So why do it as an adult?

Di said...

Oh yes! Even worse is when that person is family. I figure its their loss though!

Amy said...

Good post!!

Sometimes you just have to move on and let it go. :)

Wayne W Smith said...

That does stink but sounds like you are handling it well.

Kat said...

Yep. Exactly. Well said!

Shell said...

This is such a tough one for me. Because if I continually reach out and am shut down, I will eventually stop. But if I haven't reached out and they haven't... then it's not fair for me to think like that, you know?

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I hear you on this one. ((HUGS))

WhisperingWriter said...

I understand completely.

Adrienne said...

Yup! I've been there, sweet girl. ((Hugs)) You're right though, you do have to move on, and take it as a welcome call to refocus on your priorities. When I stopped trying all the time, it freed me up to focus on so many other things.

Lacey_Renea said...

This topic hits really close to home for me as I've struggled through this with my own parents, if you can believe that. When I realized I wasn't a priority it made me take extra care in showing my children that they are my number one priority. It helped me to refocus my frustration into something positive.

Lacey @ And They Call Me Mommy

Masala Chica said...

It hurts when you realize you are not a priority at all to some people, especially someone you might have considered a close friend.

It sucks. It really does.

Kiran

Heather said...

I think you also need to distinguish between what you THINK is important and what REALLY is important.

I have a hard enough time putting myself out there in the first place, if I keep on getting shot down I will definitely shut down.

Diane said...

Nothing is more hurtful than feeling like you are not a priority in the life of someone you care about.

I haven't gotten together with my closest friends in who knows when. We will send each other messages from time to time on facebook saying how we all really need to get together soon..."Oh, I know..I know..we really do!" and then we just let it go and never plan anything. Social media is great but I definitely think it has moved many of us away from real live face to face interaction.

Stephanie said...

I understand and this hurts!! But can I also add..I truly think there are stages in life where as Mamas "we" become our own last priority. By this I mean doing things for ourselves, and conecting with our BFFs ends up taking a back seat. It's wrong, but I do beleive it happens.
Hugs to you.

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I have just recently had to do this to a friend whom I treasured very much. She didn't treasure me in the same manner. It hurt to let it go, but it's better that I did!