50 Shades of Cyndy

I stole this from Filing Jointly...Finally.  It's ok because she said I could.

I just want to state for the record that I've never read 50 Shades of Grey, nor do I ever intend to.

Not because I'm a prude, because I enjoy GOOD writing and have heard that it's quite the opposite.

Carry on.

1. What is your best friend's Mom's name? Jeannette is her bio-mom (not sure if that's the correct spelling, nor do I care.  I'm not a fan of the chick).  Theresa is her step-mom who was more of a mother. And I am a third mom at times.

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?  Um.  There.  And yes it's just a mole, it's been there for many years, ya freak.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?  I don't ever remember having a hot teacher.  Male or female.  My middle school Spanish teacher was nice-looking, but not HOT.

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater? Haven't we all?

5. What body part do you wash first? Um, my left shoulder.  Never thought about it before, but I do have a very OCD shower routine.

6. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms? Pfft, no.  I'm a disaster, I'd fall in, or fall off, or something.  I sit right on the seat and OMG I AM NOT DEAD YET!!!!!

7. What's the strangest talent you have? I can pick things up with my toes just like with my fingers.  Just last night I was complimented on my mad toe skillz. I'm not even making that up; it was called "impressive".  I PICKED UP A DVD WITH MY TOES PEOPLE.  

8. Do you have an innie or an outtie? An innie.

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? Sour Cream & Onion FO SHO.

10. Have you ever been tied up? Um. Yes.  Yes I have.  And I should probably leave it at that.  But let me just say OMG.  WOW.  

I'll stop now.  

11. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for? Probably staying out too late with my boyfriend who ended up being my husband and father of my three children and who is now my ex-husband.  

12. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? Drive around & around, you're welcome, the world does NOT need me attempting to parallel park.  Fortunately there's little need for that nonsense in my town.

13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?  Well I've made two dates and then ditched one.  Woops.  Sorry!

14. How many times have you been cussed out?  A lot, actually.  I used to work for the DMV so it happened there regularly.  And my first husband has done it many times and I'm sure there are more in our future.  Yay, good choices!!

15. Which shoe do you put on first?  The left.  

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?  Yes, there's a gay bar with a drag show in my town and it's a BLAST.  The atmosphere is so different than at other bars.  FUN!!

18. Girls.  This is not a question.  Just want to have fun. (alrighty then?)
 19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common? BAHAHAHAHA.

No.  Hahahaha.  
20. Did you French kiss before you were 16? I think I was 14.  o.O

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?  No.  Cow tipping is mean, and I'm not stupid enough for snipe hunting.  

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? It really depends. That's the time of day when my poor little mind is spinning and won't stop thinking about everything under the sun, so it can be anyone or anything.

23. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? HAHA Yes.  On the day my divorce from Husband #1 was final, my boss at that time wrote a poem/song on the whiteboard at our office.  I can't print it here though, and that sucks because it was FUNNY.  I miss that man (the former boss, not the former husband).

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash? Um, ew?  They'd both get stinky after a while.  I can't pick.

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? I used to always find my Christmas presents in their closet.  

26. What was your childhood nickname? Cinderella.  And my Mom called me Cyndy Lyndy.  Those are the only ones I remember.  

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar? I can't say as I recall.  

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? I don't recall doing that either, but hey, I may have.  

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?  Hmm.  Probably changed clothes.  

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails? EWWW.  I think I did this when I was little.  It was one of those "because I can" things.

31. How do you eat your cookie? What kind?  Oreo, I take off one cookie and throw it in the trash and eat the cream & one cookie.  Because two is too many.  Same with EL Fudges.   Also they have to be Double Stuf, the regular kind are a joke.

32. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt? I don't even understand this question.  Which probably tells you I haven't been to a gym in a lot of years.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. Heh heh heh.  

Oh um....I don't know.  Scratch my butt??
36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? Depends on the drink.  Two strong ones.  I'm a lightweight.

37. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt? Seriously?  Who does that?  NO.  Also? HELL NO.

38. How often do you clean out your ears? After I wash my hair because they feel all soapy and wet.  So about every other day.

39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? I scrunch.  I'm concerned about why you need this information.

40. About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie?  Usually NONE because I do not enjoy discomfort so if a pair of drawers gives me wedgies I will not wear them.  The End.

41. Do you have any strange phobias? Well I don't think it's strange but I am utterly terrified of snakes.  I also hate feet but that's more of an aversion.

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? I pierced my nose, does that count?  Well I didn't do it myself, a totally hot piercer guy did it.

43. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? Passed out.  In my defense, it was my first time drinking more than one drink since gastric bypass surgery and a significant weight loss.  I didn't know my limits.  I was carried out.  I lost a shoe.  Thank God for good friends!

44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?  I don't think so.  I was never big on taking dares.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by an ex's name? Nope.  "Baby" is a very handy term.  I'm just saying.

46. Have you caught a guy/girl farting while on a date? I don't think so.

47. Have you ever played naked Twister? No and the thought of it makes me giggle uncontrollably.

48. Have you ever been drunk at work? Nope, can't say as I have.

49. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? Sister, yes.  KIDDING.  I don't think so.

50. Do you want to bring sexy back? It depends.  Where did it go?  Because if it retired to the Keys or something then by all means, let it stay.  Because if I brought it back it would probably be PISSED.  I know I would. 


Amy said...

Funny. And Cute!

Have a great weekend!

Tammie said...

i love this and may steal it.

oh, and fifty shades is shit. dont waste your precious time.

Amy @ Clan Carlson said...

This is awesome. AWESOME.

Thank you so much for sharing, it gave me a good laugh and a real pick-me-up.

Oh, and I agree - I won't read Fifty Shades of Grey either - there is tons of great FREE smut on the internet, and personally, I'm a fan of trashy historical romance, so I'm picky about my smut. I highly recommend Karen Marie Moning - she writes good stuff. ;)

Furry Bottoms said...

hehehehe this is awesome!!!

I have a mole there too. I find this to be the weirdest spot ever...Ugh.

Lauren said...


I want to say I applaud your decision to not read 50 Shades of Grey. I wish I had stuck to my guns and done the same but my sister peer pressured me into reading the first one because she LOVED it.

It was crap. Like the worst thing I've ever read.

Kat said...

Haha! I LOVE this! And I love your answers. We sound very similar. I might have to use this. So fun! :)

Helene said...

I read 50 Shades and I'll agree that the writing is atrocious. I only finished the trilogy because I had to see how it ended.

I'm totally OCD about my shower routine too. Hadn't even thought about it until you mentioned starting with your left shoulder....I do the same thing!!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Love this. Those questions are the best. I may have to try this one.
I passed out in a bar once also and I had barely had my first drink! Thanks for posting.

Aleta said...

I had to laugh at the blog post title for this one. Interesting... questions... great answers!