7.16.2009

Let's Talk About....Um...You Know....THAT.

I have a couple of friends who work for, um, adult product companies. They stand up in front of a group of people and extoll the virtues of, uh, ya know, toys. And...lotions. And...stuff.
I could never, ever do that. If my whole family was dependent on my selling sex toys for our sole income, we would starve.
It's not because of any moral objections, not at all! Toys are great. *ahem*
It's because I would be so.freaking.embarassed. That kind of thing is way out of my comfort zone. I would stutter, and tremble, and my face would turn shades of red that you've never seen before in your life.
Kind of like it's doing right now, as I type this. Because I'm going to tell you a story that is sooo embarassing. But it begs to be shared.
My kids like to hang out in my room sometimes. I don't know why, but they go in there and watch TV and mess with my hair stuff and perfumes. Mostly it's the two girls.
Now, we all have one of those drawers by our beds...right? The ones filled with odds and ends....only stuffed down in the bottom, there are some...fun things? Adult fun things? Underneath everything, so surely the kids won't see them.
We thought we'd never get busted. They'd never go digging around in that drawer. Nobody had ever come running out with the bottle of KY Silk yelling, "Mommy, what's THIS??" We thought we were so slick.
That is, until I was looking in the drawer the other day, and pulled out a little, um, toy. A little battery operated bunny toy.
With a very cute, very carefully placed BUTTERFLY STICKER on his little bunny back.
Oh.My.GOD.

38 comments:

Chrissie, Christine, Chris, Mommy, Mama, Maaaaa... said...

roflmao... can I just say thank you for a very much needed laugh?? :)

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Sadly, I'm lost.

Molly Lou Gifts said...

At least the girls didn't bring it out when you had company over. That is a great story...thanks for sharing. :)

April said...

Oh, that is too funny! I'd probably be MORTIFIED!

DebraLSchubert said...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. You're SO busted!!! I remember when my youngest son was younger (he's 17 now) and he found my 'friend'. He figured out it was a massager and asked if he could massage my back. Um, no thanks, honey. My back feels fine.

Other parts, however...

(PS: I found you via the uber-lovely Rebecca. Feel free to stop by my place and have a look around.)

Michele said...

Oh, my goodness! Hopefully they do not get exactly what that is.... Ah, life with kids! :-)

Stopping by from SITS.

Momisodes said...

ROFL!! Oh geez. I'm so sorry.

One of my very best friends gave one of those...uh...um...bunny/butterfly toys years ago ;)

Kori said...

I so almost shot coffee right outta my nose.

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

That is freaking HILARIOUS!!!! It took me about a minute to stop laughing before I could type anything!

We have always locked ours up in a cabinet in our room for fear the girls would find them. Now that they are adults...we joke if we die together the girls would have to go through this big bag and see how crazy their parents sex life was. I think they'd get a laugh!!!

mommygeekology said...

Oh. my. god.

I don't even know what I would do, and I regularly post/talk about sex.

Multiple personalities.. said...

Hahahaha! Not to be gross, but your post just about made me pee my pants, it's so hilarious! And it's more hilarious because a similar scenario has occurred in my part of the universe. I truly feel your embarrassment and need to blush. I'm so glad you came by my blog, it brought me back to this hilarious story!

Helene said...

You had me laughing hysterically with this post...I can just imagine the look on your face when you saw that sticker!!

Unfortunately, we've had to learn the hard way too. Now we keep all our "fun toys and gadgets" in a backpack which is hidden in the very back of our closet.

Tammie said...

ha ha. cyndy this is awful. im not real embarrassed by this kinda stuff, but that doesnt mean i go out of my way to talk about it.

my hubs has been cataloging his calories and workouts on a website and there is a spot for him to put in sexual activity too because, well, i guess that counts as exercise. anyway, he entered it into the site and put that we had done it "vigorously" then the doofus left the page up on the monitor and walked away. my son came in to use the computer and you can guess the rest. every now and then he'll walk by me or his dad and snicker and say (in his best beavus and butthead voice) "ha ha...vigorously."

sigh.

GypsyFox said...

ROTFLMAO too funny! too funny! just found your blog, glad I did, now following you :)

parentingBYdummies said...

Cute photo! Thanks for stopping by my dumb blog today. It's been so dang busy! Thanks for joining the party, come back anytime.

Kat said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Oops! ;)

Aleta said...

L.M.A.O! That was hysterical! I couldn't sell that stuff too, because I couldn't look anyone in the eyes while selling it or not bust out laughing!!!

But yeah, I call it the "goodie" drawer. Hehe

Karen in Texas said...

Hahahahahaha! We just hide our couple of toys under the bed. Guess they need to be locked up somewhere. My kids hardly ever go in our bedroom though unless one of us are in there.

Karen in Texas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lori said...

I could sell the stuff because I'm sure it's more embarrassing to be at one than to be the demonstrator. LOL I'd have fun with it!

The discount would be cool too! LOL

The Redhead Riter said...

Stopping by from SITS to say HI

LOL and the pic is hilarious with the comment

Tara R. said...

Butterfly sticker?! Bwahaha! That is hilarious.

Bullfrogs & Butterflies Baby said...

Stopping by via SITS for a big HELLO! Ironically enough, you are the 4th visit I've made to fellow moms of 4 :)

Mrsbear said...

Never say never. Kids are nothing if not thorough. LMAO. Hopefully they had no idea what the heck they were looking at.

Our kids haven't stumbled on anything just yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Excuse me, while I go burn some of the evidence. ;)

Heather said...

HA HA HA HA! I'm so glad we don't have kids yet because our toys (yes, plural *blush*) are in a shoebox next to the bed. I really should get a better way to store them all, HAH!

Lady Di said...

Okay, when I'm done laughing, I'm going to go find a better hiding spot for "the toys". Thanks

Rocksee said...

that is literally the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

AHAHAHAAHA!! I love it!! Thanks for the laugh this morning...even if it was at your expense...sorry about that! ;)

supah ~d said...

Oh lord have mercy.
I was moving once. Had to hide mine in the front of my suitcase so movers wouldn't run across it. My mom helped pull the suitcases out adn was like.. WHAT'S BUZZIN?/

LMAOOOO..

sits stopping by

d

Mrs4444 said...

Oh, that is GOOD. We have a "family massager" that the kids used to want to play with when they were little. Thanks for the flashback.

BTW, I had to delete your FF link today, because it actually lead to a site where someone does color analysis! How weird is that?! Anyway, I came here to fix the link for you, but I don't see a FF post. Am I missing something??

Erin said...

Aww I bet that was a really nice pretty butterfly sticker wasn't it!

LMAO that is a classic story!

Juls said...

Oh my. I think I would die too.. But guess where we keep our stuff? Uh huh... I'm thinking it's time for a new hiding place.

Unknown Mami said...

OMG! It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm telling you, you could have hidden that thing inside your toilet tank and eventually they would have found it.

Thanks for the laugh.

BoufMom9 said...

OH.MY.GOD! That is too frickin funny!
I guess it's better it was a sticker than actually catching a child PUTTING the sticker on it! HOLY!

anymommy said...

Classic. Don't worry, they'll see worse ;-)

John Deere Mom said...

OMG that's hysterical!!!!! And I love the baby DOH! pic! Perfect end to a hilarious post!

African American Mom said...

ROTFL!!!!!

Queen of Feisty said...

Alright I am your polar opposite! I could sell this stuff, and have NO problem with it. I could sell it like a cook could sell tuperware... um... sorry bout that, I think I just gave you the idea I was really into toys? Sorta? It's not like I have a closetful. Just a few at the bottom of a drawer too... so my daughter found my fun vibrating red toy, and it's the crazy one that rotates (mind you I have NEVER rotated on anything. Doesn't look fun) ANYWAY, I did get away easy, because she was just 18 months and will never remember... note to self to move to a different place anyway...

Thanks for sharing!

Queen of Feisty