I just have to share my relief. I have been uber-stressed lately. So stressed and so focused on the present that I didn't realize that hope was just around the corner.
I've mentioned that night shift has been kicking my butt and I was looking for a day shift job. I was feeling that even more today, after sleeping half of the weekend away. I didn't get to do half of the things I'd planned to do with the kids. I felt terrible.
But the downside to switching to day shift is financial. I get a nice shift differential for working night shift which I'd obviously lose by switching to days; plus I'd have to find after-school care for the little kids, which means less money coming in and more going out. Not good for the budget which is already stretched pretty thin!
So on the way to work tonight, I was thinking about the situation, and finally my mind wandered down the path of the future, and it occured to me that the school year is almost over. Only a few weeks left. Andrew is going to spend most or all of the summer in the Keys with MIL and MIL's sister. My kids will spend every other week with their father. Which means a LOT more sleep for me. A huge difference in my daily routine right now. Even when the kids are at home with me, I will still be able to get more sleep and have a far less hectic schedule.
And as for when school starts back, this year I will put the little kids in after-school care. I've done it before, but in the interest of saving money and spending more time with them, we didn't do it this year. And it's been tough. I really think Andrew would benefit from a structured after-school program, and Elayna will enjoy it. And I NEED the sleep. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I'm pretty sure nobody who works days and sleeps at night feels guilty, so why should I feel guilty for needing more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep per day??
So...I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it's coming up right around the corner!