I just have to share my relief. I have been uber-stressed lately. So stressed and so focused on the present that I didn't realize that hope was just around the corner.
I've mentioned that night shift has been kicking my butt and I was looking for a day shift job. I was feeling that even more today, after sleeping half of the weekend away. I didn't get to do half of the things I'd planned to do with the kids. I felt terrible.
But the downside to switching to day shift is financial. I get a nice shift differential for working night shift which I'd obviously lose by switching to days; plus I'd have to find after-school care for the little kids, which means less money coming in and more going out. Not good for the budget which is already stretched pretty thin!
So on the way to work tonight, I was thinking about the situation, and finally my mind wandered down the path of the future, and it occured to me that the school year is almost over. Only a few weeks left. Andrew is going to spend most or all of the summer in the Keys with MIL and MIL's sister. My kids will spend every other week with their father. Which means a LOT more sleep for me. A huge difference in my daily routine right now. Even when the kids are at home with me, I will still be able to get more sleep and have a far less hectic schedule.
And as for when school starts back, this year I will put the little kids in after-school care. I've done it before, but in the interest of saving money and spending more time with them, we didn't do it this year. And it's been tough. I really think Andrew would benefit from a structured after-school program, and Elayna will enjoy it. And I NEED the sleep. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I'm pretty sure nobody who works days and sleeps at night feels guilty, so why should I feel guilty for needing more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep per day??
So...I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it's coming up right around the corner!
13 comments:
((Cyndy)) Not much longer and it sounds like a good plan for next year.
Oh honey I know that sleep guilt all too well! I took Saturday off this weekend and stayed home to sleep while Josh took the kids to his moms. I missed out on a visit and, of course, feel guilty for it, but I needed the sleep. Day shifters don't always understand the stress our bodies are under working these unnatural hours. I have also missed out on weekend activities and such.
*hugs* Hang in there.
Life is not easy these days. Angels around you.
I'm glad things are working out for you...sleep is important! ;)
~K
You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost, or you will be of no help to anyone else. I'm glad you've come up with a solution that sounds like will be a win-win for everyone!
Good for you. I'm glad you've found a good solution. I struggle with the day care thing too. There are really not a lot of options in my area that are flexible and affordable.
So I found a lady in the neighborhood who would watch him for half the cost of the daycare and give me a lot more flexibility on hours. Plus she has a family with 4 boys next door, so he has built-in playmates.
I'm glad you could see the light....and that it is all going to work out!
Sleep tight!
Nightshift is hard. Been there. I used to work 3 shifts in one week. We do what we must to survive. I'm glad you have found a solution, you definitely need to take care of you!
Sweet dreams!
I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself without losing sight of what else is important too! It is all going to work out great! Nighty night!
im a nightshifter for the past 11 years so i understand totally. i too stay for the differential. it makes a beeeeg difference. also, i am not a morning person. i am best at night. i come alive at night. but it sucks that we have to lose the next day because of it. but you MUST get your rest or you wont be able to be there for anyone else. take care and KNOW you are not ALONE. let the guilt go. it wont change anything, AND you are doing something important.
C
I'm glad that you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
It also sounds as though you have a good plan worked out..
Sometimes, as woman, I think we end up chasing our tails, trying to do it all and we end up not taking care of ourselves and feeling guilty because we haven't been able to do all that we thought we should do. It becomes a vicious cycle after awhile..
Good on you for figuring it out and giving yourself some time to take care of you. :-)
I'm so glad you got to make this change. Hope it continues to work for you.
Oh, yay! So glad for you. My oldest daughter sleeps over her grandmother's house every Friday... felt guilty about it at first but now I really look forward to that night of relative peace.
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