6.12.2012

That Which Does Not Kill Us.


I've always been a very trusting person.  Sort of Pollyanna-ish in that I believe people are good until proven otherwise.  I never suspect someone of being out to hurt me or take advantage of me.

I've been hurt a few times because of this, but not enough to change.  And despite many red flags, I recently trusted someone whom I definitely should not have trusted.  And I got burned.

I met this girl I'll call Dana years ago, before I married husband #2.  Then she moved away and we had no contact until late last year.

Dana literally has no friends.  Her own family will not have anything to do with her.  But I felt sorry for her. People who knew her warned me not to trust her.  But I assured them that it was okay. I insisted that she wasn't a bad person.  Also, she's bipolar.  As someone who has suffered with severe depression and anxiety, I have a great deal of sympathy with those suffering from mental illnesses.  So even when she showed her nasty side, I told myself it was the illness, not her.  But bipolar does not mean pure evil.  And this girl is pure evil.

I made her very angry in April.  I was more than willing but NOT ABLE to do something she wanted me to do.  I was going out for a few drinks with my (real, true, God-given) best friend. Dana wanted to come along, but needed me to pick her up from a neighboring town, then take her home afterwards.  I simply could not afford the gas, and she had no money to offer me for repayment.  I told her I was sorry, and she said it was fine.

And then she proceeded to try to destroy every aspect of my life.  She has told vicious lies to try to ruin my relationship with my CHILDREN, to get me fired from my job, and to get my friends and loved ones to turn against me.  She told people about my private life, but twisted the truth and exaggerated the reality to make me sound like a horrible person. And then made up stories that had absolutely no basis in fact.

I've been doing battle against her lies for nearly two months now.  She didn't succeed in any way.  At times, I thought she would.  I thought her evil lies would win.  But they won't, she won't.  It's not over, but progress has been made.  My faith has been restored.  Some people are quick to believe negative things, especially juicy, Jerry Springer-like stories. But fortunately, the real world deals in facts, not made-up lies.

I would be lying if I said I did not want revenge.  BADLY.  I can taste it.  But I won't do it.  I won't risk getting myself in trouble for her.  She is not worth it.  I know, beyond a doubt, that she will pay for what she's done, in some way. I may never know or see it, but I know it will happen.  Things like this don't go unpunished.

I'm a strong person.  I've been through a lot of shit.  This nearly broke me.  This had me, at one point, literally lying on my best friend's SIDEWALK outside of her house, sobbing my heart out.  With my head in her lap, she rubbed my back and promised me that in the end, it would all work out.

And it will.  This didn't break me.  It won't break me.  SHE won't break me.  Evil will not win.
We're going to be alright.




13 comments:

Amy said...

Hugs girlfriend.

Hugs!

Tara R. said...

That is scary psycho. I hope you can get her totally out of your life. Wow...

Tara R. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimberly said...

Wow. Scary.

But this reminds me of another great quote: Live in such a way that if someone should speak badly of you... No one would believe it!

Sounds like you do -- live in such a way that no one believes otherwise, no matter what she might say.

Christine Macdonald said...

Love your attitude and ability to hold yourself to a higher standard.

xo

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry. What a sick bitch she is. There would be no point to get even with her. This hits me in the gut really hard to think that someone can be so cruel to someone who was truly her friend. ((HUGS))

Amy @ Clan Carlson said...

Ken's ex is bi-polar, and has done many of the sames things... it really makes me wonder if the illness causes the evil, or if the evil causes the illness. I feel your pain, but I know how strong you are; you will come out ahead. *hugs*

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I am in a similar position with someone for whom I went out of my way... not on the same level as it sounds like you found yourself, but it's still tough when you know someone is spreading vicious lies and exaggerations. You hope your character speaks for itself, but sometimes, doubt creeps in!

C said...

im so sorry you have gone through this, karma will give her what she deserves in the end. if you can bring yourself to pray for her, that will be the best revenge, honey. ask god to bestow all things you want for yourself, on her.

and STAY STRONG. this cant take you down unless you let it.

hugs xoxoxox

Unknown Mami said...

I'm sorry. Try not to absorb her lies.

Tammie said...

im so sorry. I'm proud of you for being the bigger person.

i had a friend who was bi polar. when she was good, she was good. but during her down times it was really bad and i eventually had to just cut her out of my life because she was truly toxic.

Mrs4444 said...

Sometimes, giving people get the life sucked out of them by takers. I'm grateful that you have friends to fill you back up. :)

Kat said...

Holy crap, man! Evil is right. I just don't understand what happens to some people to make them so nasty.
Hang in there!