I Remember

I remember when I fell in love with you.
I don't remember when I fell out of love with you.

Falling in love happened quickly.
Falling out of love was much more gradual.

It snuck up on me. It was a slow process. Respect slipped away. Disillusionment crept in. My eyes were opened. And you changed.

Instead of being the source of so much happiness, when you walked into the room, the laughter stopped. The joy was sucked out of the room. And out of our lives.

I realized that almost every area of my life was bringing me so much pleasure; my children, my friends, my career, my family.
All except for you.

I tried to change things. I tried to deal with it. I tried to focus on the positive.
It didn't work.

You were no longer what I needed in my life. Once upon a time, you were. There were good times, good years. But you changed, I changed, things changed. We changed.

And I realized that I deserve more. I deserve happiness. "Tomorrow isn't promised." That phrase runs through my mind so often lately. Right or wrong, I want to be happy, and I want my kids to be happy. For as many tomorrows as we have.


GypsyFox said...

WOW! this is really touching & definetly hits home :(
you & your kids DO deserve to be happy.

Erin said...

You do deserve to be happy, especially the kids! They put up with so much from our lives huh? And they do it because they love us, and we love them even more!
xoxo.hope all is going perfect for you!

ChiTown Girl said...

Beautiful. And, SO true!

Amy said...

Everyone deserves to be happy!

Helene said...

That is SO true...you do deserve happiness.

You sound like you have a positive outlook!

Shannon said...

Yes, you so deserve happiness!


Tara R. said...

This is so honest. You do deserve to be happy, and I know you'll find that.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

You hit the nail on the head. This is amazing. Sometimes I feel this way. It is a brave person who moves forward to get happiness.
I am so proud of you.

Deanna crazed said...

wow, it's as if I had written this myself!! I feel the exact same way. Still waiting to find a job so that I can move forward and find my happiness again! Good luck to you!!

anymommy said...

You certainly do deserve to be happy. I had no idea that this was happening in your life, but your strength in this post inspires.

Mamarazzi said...

whoa baby. the heartbeat, i can feel it. thanks for sharing this. you deserve all that you want, happiness included...seems like such a simple request right?sometimes we really need to look for it. good for you for seeking it out.

Tammie said...

this post is so beautifully sad.

Myya said...

WOW. This is beautiful & sad all in one.