The Adventures of the Crazy Couple

Once upon a time, there was a Crazy Couple. Generally, they have a lot of fun together, laughing and joking and thoroughly enjoying themselves.
But car travel.....ah, car travel. It can really bring out the worst in Crazy Couple.
So, on this fine sunny day, the Crazy Couple was traveling in the Big City. The Crazy Couple are small town folk, and they aren't familiar with the Big City. But they were on a mission. They got directions from handy-dandy CrapQuest, and went off on their way!
And promptly got lost.
"Oh Em Gee!" said Crazy Chick. "We are effing lost, and Kind Friend is waiting for us, and we are gonna be Sofa King LATE!"
So Crazy Dude suggested Crazy Chick get out the trusty map. They found an alternate route than the one suggested by CrapQuest, and off they went. And they did pretty well, until they approached Unknown Street. And although Crazy Chick assured Crazy Dude that they needed to turn LEFT, Crazy Dude was quite certain that they MUST turn RIGHT. So Crazy Chick ever-so-sweetly said "Okay fine whatever. Kind Friend has probably already left anyway and thinks I'm some internet psycho."
The Crazy Couple bumped along down Unknown Road and soon, Crazy Chick spied a colorful sign. It said "Go Go Girls! ALL NUDE!"
"Hmm," said Crazy Chick, "It's a strip club. Oh look! They're hiring!"
Crazy Dude laughed and kept on truckin'.
The further they drove, the older and more run-down the buildings looked.
Then they saw a sign for a place that said they sold "Beer, DVDs, and Jewelry".
Odd, thought Crazy Chick.
They discussed turning around, but even that was a slightly terrifying prospect. So they kept going until they saw yet another strip club.
But it wasn't until they approached this intersection that Crazy Chick put her foot down.
"That's IT, Crazy Dude, turn this car around NOW!"
Because really?? This sign has to tell you SOMETHING.

Seriously, I could not make this up! And you know what else? If the Crazy Couple had just turned LEFT on Unknown Street, like the Crazy Chick suggested? They would've gotten there a lot sooner....and a lot less traumatized.

The End!!


Myya said...

They always know where to go don't they. Darn Crazy Dudes just know it all don't they! Oh & CRAPQuest is right!!!

Draea Lael (Rose) said...

Hmm, if you are in a Big City in N.FL I know EXACTLY where you are, and yes...its scary as hell!!! I lived on the eastern edge of it for most of my teen and young adult years, and always found a way to go around said scary parts.

Brandy said...

hahaha. that's funny. i hate when google/crapquest leads me astray. I have a hard enough time as it is.

Seizing My Day said...

yep... we are about to embark on a road trip... and I need to say to myself... it is a journey... no worries HOW we get there!! ha ha!! =)

Tammie said...

im assuming this is jacksonville you speak of? honestly that whole freaking town is gross and scary. everytime i would drive there, id be like, 'um everyone lock their doors." jay grew up there and for a time wanted to move us there. no way in hell!

when it comes to scariness, portland oregon (one of the biggest cities in the nation) has NOTHING on jacksonville.

i am finding it hard to navigate all the one way streets and bridges. the other week i went to the city (the first time by myself) and on the way home got totally lost and ended up in a small town a few miles past mine. i knew i was lost when i crossed a rickety two lane bridge. i knew i didnt have to cross that to get home!!!

oh, and in my opinion, google maps is WORLDS better than crapquest. seriously, google maps took us the 3000 miles from florida to oregon without a glitch.

Lindsay-ann said...

Glad you made it through the scary place! My husband and I are always getting lost when we go to new places. We got lost on our first date. We ended up driving through an army firing range and I was car sick. My husband got lost 3 miles from our home when he took Jessica to a new friends house in the dark once. I think you could call us a Crazy Couple too. Many of our friends have driven in Florida but we would not even attempt it. Glad you survived to tell the tale.

shortmama said...

Ah the joys of traveling!

C said...

that is so funny... glad you didnt get accosted in that part of town! guys should always listen to the girls because we are ALWAYS right!!


He & Me + 3 said...

OMGosh...I thought you were in Michigan when I saw the sign W Beaver. But then I remembered our street is Big Beaver. Never mind. I am lost now too. LOL
That was hysterical. Glad you made it & lived to tell about it. LOL

Erin said...

OMG I am so LMAO right now! I HATE CrapQuest! And I always crack right up when you use sofa king! HAHA That's awesome, every time I've ever used that my family always replys with "what is a sofa king?"

Well I am glad you finally made it there before you decided to stop for amateur night!

Kirby3131 said...

I always laugh when I hear Beaver road mentioned on the radio or tv. And I know about Big Beaver in Michigan, too!

Jacksonville used to scare me to no end, but after 4 years here I've learned to navigate through this giant city and I now am totally smitten with many sections of town.

Thanks for calling me Kind Friend :) awwww and I did wait for you because I knew there was going to be a story once you finally arrived!!

Kristin - The Goat

Shawna said...

That sounds horrifying!

I live in Podunk, Alabama, and I still have to see strip clubs strewn about. It ticks me off that my kids can see those signs. I have a reader for crying out loud! And on that topic, when I search for shows on my cable unit, it seems like half the titles that come up are porn. Why can't we protect our kids in this world???

Just Breathe said...

When I started reading this I thought of Kristin since I had read her post earlier. I didn't click on kind friend until I was done. Funny story!

Melani said...

That is so funny! I know, men just hate stopping to ask for directions, ever! Glad you got there and your friend waited!