So the other day I had worked a 12 hour overnight shift and finally I was at home in my incredibly comfortable bed (feather mattress baby - aaamaaaaazing!!).
I was sleeping like a log when suddenly Hunter came in waking me up. "Baby! Baby, look what I found outside!"
Thankfully, I was sleeping soundly enough not to immediately jump up (oh who am I kidding, I NEVER jump up...). I had my back to him (THANK YOU BABY JESUS!).
And also THANKFULLY he kept on talking while I slowly came awake....
"...I was outside taking Mackenzie for a walk and I moved this sign and something fell down and then Kenzie was tripping out and I realized it was a little baby SNAKE!"
To which I calmly replied.....
"GET IT OUT!!! OMG GET THAT THING OUT OF THE HOUSE NOWWWWWW!!!!"
Hunter said "You don't even want to see it? It's a pretty little sn-"
"GET IT OUUUUUTTT!!!! I can't believe you brought that thing in the house! GET ITTTT OUTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!" I shrieked from under the covers.
Hunter: "Does this mean I can't keep it as a pet?"
Me: "OMFG GET THAT OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!" I screamed from the fetal position,
and then my voice went to an octave that only dogs can hear.
Something must have told him this was not my normal behavior and maybe, just maybe, he should take that snake and GET IT OUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT! Because he did.
The poor man knew I didn't like snakes; he did not know that I hate loathe and despise them, am terrified of them and traumatized by them, and have nightmares starring snakes several nights per week.
In fact, I'm pretending that whole scene was a dream because I refuse to accept that there are, in fact, real live snakes slithering (*shudder* - I hate that word) around in this very wooded property of ours with two creeks running through it. Clearly not a snake-friendly environment....amIright?
I'm also pretending he didn't casually mention that it was the second snake he'd seen here.
Anyone know Billy the Exterminator's number?