There will be NO images accompanying this post for effect. Because OMG OMG OMG ICK EW. ACK.

So the other day I had worked a 12 hour overnight shift and finally I was at home in my incredibly comfortable bed (feather mattress baby - aaamaaaaazing!!).

I was sleeping like a log when suddenly Hunter came in waking me up.  "Baby! Baby, look what I found outside!"

Thankfully, I was sleeping soundly enough not to immediately jump up (oh who am I kidding, I NEVER jump up...).  I had my back to him (THANK YOU BABY JESUS!).

And also THANKFULLY he kept on talking while I slowly came awake....

"...I was outside taking Mackenzie for a walk and I moved this sign and something fell down and then Kenzie was tripping out and I realized it was a little baby SNAKE!"

To which I calmly replied.....

Hunter said "You don't even want to see it?  It's a pretty little sn-"

"GET IT OUUUUUTTT!!!! I can't believe you brought that thing in the house!  GET ITTTT OUTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!" I shrieked from under the covers.

Hunter: "Does this mean I can't keep it as a pet?"
Me: "OMFG GET THAT OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!" I screamed from the fetal position,
and then my voice went to an octave that only dogs can hear.

Something must have told him this was not my normal behavior and maybe, just maybe, he should take that snake and GET IT OUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT!  Because he did.

The poor man knew I didn't like snakes; he did not know that I hate loathe and despise them, am terrified of them and traumatized by them, and have nightmares starring snakes several nights per week.
In fact, I'm pretending that whole scene was a dream because I refuse to accept that there are, in fact, real live snakes slithering (*shudder* - I hate that word) around in this very wooded property of ours with two creeks running through it.  Clearly not a snake-friendly environment....amIright?

 I'm also pretending he didn't casually mention that it was the second snake he'd seen here.
Anyone know Billy the Exterminator's number?


Amy said...

22 pistol would be your friend. Small enough to not kick your tail when you pull the trigger but a 22 will exterminate any snake.

Oh and LMBO - that was hilarious! Yeah - there would never be ANY snakes on your pretty little woods and creeks at all! Never!

Boy did I just lie. LOL

Diane said...

What a nightmare! This mama don't like no snakes either and in the house?! We see black snakes outside all the time because we too live in a very wooded area. But IN THE HOUSE?! He brought it IN THE HOUSE?! Shudder.

Kat said...

I hate centipedes worse than snakes. They are the worst!
Glad he didn't, like, set it on you or something. ;)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Thank you for no pictures because I would have skipped right by. I hate snakes!!! What was he thinking. My husband will start telling me some story from the backyard and I have to stop him to ask "Do I really want to hear this? I don't want to hear about coyotes or snakes or anything creepy." Get yourself some Liquid Fence, I put it around our yard every year. http://www.liquidfence.com/snake-2lb-granular.html