Goals, 2009 & 2010 Edition
I know that I have talked about my goals here in the past. I've reached many of them in the last few years. And for the most part, I'm very content with where I'm at in life.
I work in the field that I have always wanted to work in. I enjoy my job. But I have always wanted to take it further and go to nursing school. I have narrowed down the fields I'm interested in. I even went so far as to enroll this past fall.
But it all comes down to priorities. I work full time. Once I actually start Nursing School, my wonderful employer will allow me to work part time, while continuing to pay me part time. Awesome deal. However, I have prerequisites to complete before I can start Nursing School. And that's the big stumbling block. While I'm completing those courses, I would have to work full time.
It's not that I can't handle juggling work and school; I've done that before. It's not about me. It's about my family.
John would support me 100%, I have no doubt of that. But the issue I have is, my family needs me. Even though my kids are older, that doesn't mean they don't need me. They just need me in different ways. Even the teenagers need their mother's time and attention, although they may not admit it. My youngest, my baby girl, she's very clingy and demanding of my time. She is so happy that I no longer go to work at 7pm two nights per week. I can't imagine telling her that I'm going to be gone in the evenings again, maybe even more often than before. Andrew, my stepson, he has special needs. Extra time and attention is required for him.
Don't get me wrong, for those of you who juggle all of this - full time work, school, and family - and do it well, you have my utmost respect. I'm not knocking anyone.
One day, this will work out for me. I truly believe that I have a calling, and when the time is right, it will happen. But right now, I have to put my family's needs first. Nursing school will always be a goal on the horizon. It won't go anywhere.
So for this New Year, my goal is just to nurture my family, and provide them with what they need. And sometimes....that's me.