6.18.2009

Promise Kept

i promise to love you forever. Pictures, Images and Photos


After literally a lifetime of being yelled at, called names, and put down, it was pretty commonplace to me. My dad had always done it, my mom to some extent, and then my ex-husband.
After I started dating John, all that changed.
I remember sitting outside with him one night, after we'd been dating several months, just talking. And I said to him, 'You know, we've been dating since May, and you have never once even raised your voice to me."
And John looked at me, and very simply said, "And I never will."
It made me feel so good, so safe.
And to this day, my husband has never, ever raised his voice to me. On the very rare occasions that we disagree, we simply discuss things like two rational, adult human beings. We never put each other down, call each other names, belittle each other. We have respect for one another.
Being treated with dignity has raised my self-esteem, and I no longer allow anyone to treat me in the way I used to be treated. If they try, I walk away, hang up the phone, or do whatever I need to do to make it stop. Immediately.
Because my husband kept his promise, and made me see that I deserve better.

18 comments:

Lori said...

That's sweet!

We're not big name callers either. I wouldn't say we argue rationally though! LOL

Heather said...

See, I've always had someone in my face too, so I'm a big teller. Curt's really patient with me, and for that, I'm incredibly grateful.

BoufMom9 said...

How lovely! Sounds like you have a wonderfully blessed relationship :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

High five him for me and tell him that he's an awesome man.

Hallie

Rachel said...

YAY for y'all and YAY for him helping you realize that you deserve and are worth better!!!

So sweet.

mommygeekology said...

I know I don't always comment, but I am always reading.

This, however... this is simply wonderful. I am so happy that you have a healthy relationship and a sense of self-worth - so happy he kept his promise to you. Just wonderful.

Kat said...

A real man. That. Is. Awesome. :)

Kel said...

You do deserve to be treated well - good for you for not putting up with being disrespected! :)
~K

Twisted Fencepost said...

I can SO relate with this post. My X was much like yours. Guess that's why they are X's.
Respect is one of, if not the, most important parts of a relationship. For it to be successful and fulfilling.
I know, I found me one who loves AND respects me.
It's nice to be able to relax and enjoy life for a change.

Swirl Girl said...

the cycle of verbal abuse stops right there!

your kids will see how he treats you and will learn to treat all people with respect and dignity because they will have it themselves!

Mrsbear said...

I went through that too when I was younger, a terrible verbally abusive relationship. It's amazing what a healthy loving one will do to a person's self esteem. Glad he kept his promise.

Rob-bear said...

Glad you're getting the respect that every person deserves. And that you're not prepared to accept the garbage that other peope throw at you.

Mrs4444 said...

I love this. My husband, too, is such a wonderful man. I'm so glad you and I know what it feels like to be loved the way we deserve.

Ramblin' Red said...

This is such a beautiful post!

Karen in Texas said...

So sweet! Again I'm so glad you and John found each other Cyndy.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I've been thinking about this post since it popped in my reader. Embarrassed by the only comment that popped into my mind.

My ex husband has no respect for me, and he never did. And I had no idea - I was completely oblivious to that - until I started dating Joey and I realized what it's like when someone you are with respects you. And it's wonderful. But it's hard too. I'm weird.

I guess, I see what you're saying - definitely. Sometimes it takes that one person to show you what you should have had all along, and what you should never accept.

Momisodes said...

That is so sweet. So glad you found each other.

Heather @ Sugar N Spice Mostly Nice said...

What a beautiful post! What a wonderful hubby!!